


Catching Sight

by blindmasks



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood and Injury, Child Abuse, Child Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dentists, Depression, Doctors & Physicians, Foster Care, Furlan and Isabel are not going to die, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has OCD, Levi is 10, OCD, Phobias, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stitches, Teacher Erwin Smith, Therapy, abuse happens off screen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22887736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindmasks/pseuds/blindmasks
Summary: Erwin teaches fifth grade history and starts noticing an alarming pattern of absences, failing grades, and bruises with one of his students, Levi Ackerman.(Or, how Erwin becomes Levi's foster father.)
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith
Comments: 43
Kudos: 272





	1. Eyes Open

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about foster care or CPS or kids in general so I'm doing my best but please don't take this for an accurate representation or explanation of any of those things.
> 
> I wrote this months ago and in the absence of an update on any of my other stories, I thought I'd post this. While it has a lot of the same tags (i.e. OCD, depression, etc) this is meant to be (hopefully) a more lighthearted fic? Or at least it should end that way.

When Erwin saw Levi Ackerman’s name on the list of students to be in his homeroom class that year, he had frowned. There was a note next to his name from his previous teacher, but Erwin hadn’t needed to read it to know what it would say. It’s a small school, and Levi already had a reputation among the teachers for being rude, short-tempered, defiant, and disobedient. Erwin had only been working at the school for a couple years, but he remembered Levi’s previous teachers complaining about him.

Erwin teaches fifth and sixth grade history, and has Levi in his fifth grade history class as well as his homeroom. He’s snarky, has to be reprimanded frequently, and winds up in detention with regular frequency.

He really isn’t as bad as his previous teachers had made him out to be though. He’s intelligent, inquisitive, and clearly likes to debate. By the end of September Erwin thought teachers had simply exaggerated Levi’s faults because he had a tendency to question his teacher’s decisions and information and he didn’t do his homework regularly.

It's early October now and Erwin really hasn’t thought much about Levi more than any other student in the past month. He’s in the faculty lounge when Hange Zoe comes up to him with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

Hange is a young, brand new teacher as of that year, had only just graduated and gotten her teaching certification. It only took about two days for Erwin to hear his students talking about her. She garnered a reputation for being, quite frankly, insane, very quickly. Erwin was actually impressed with the speed of which she gained the title.

So it is very, very strange to see her looking almost grim.

“Can I talk to you for a minute,” she says, and gestures towards a corner of the room. Erwin frowns and follows her. They sit down at a table.

“You’re Levi’s homeroom teacher, right?” Hange says.

Erwin is surprised. He nods though. “Yes,” he says.

“I’m concerned about him,” she says.

Erwin frowns. “Why is that?”

“His grades have tanked,” Hange says. “I was wondering if you’ve noticed a similar trend.”

“He failed a quiz,” Erwin says. “He’s had a few absences recently though.”

“Hm,” Hange says.

“I think he’s just been ill,” Erwin says.

He’d looked sick, and Erwin hadn’t paid much attention to it, but now that he thinks back, it was an odd pattern. He hadn’t been absent for a few days in a row, like he might’ve if he’d gotten a cold. He’d missed two days of school that week already and two the week before. There were bags under his eyes and he’d been looking tired and kind of haggard but he hadn’t been coughing or sneezing or anything.

“Maybe,” Hange says. “It’s just a gut feeling on this one,” she says, “something feels off.”

Erwin starts paying attention after that.

Levi’s grades do in fact, continue to plummet. He misses enough days that he’s issued detention and his parents are contacted by administration but that clearly doesn’t do much as he continues to miss school sporadically, albeit a little less often. What’s more, he starts skipping classes. Erwin has no idea where the hell he actually _goes_ , because he’s always there in the morning and back again before class lets out, and while he could certainly sneak out of school it would be much more difficult to sneak back in.

Erwin asks Levi to stay after class one day.

Levi looks at the ground, shifting on his feet by Erwin’s desk. He has his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and a bag slung over one shoulder.

“Levi, is everything alright at home?” Erwin asks.

Levi’s eyes snap up, but his expression is unreadable. “This about my grades?” he says. “You wanna make sure they’ll do something if you call home?”

“I’m asking in part because your grades have gone down significantly, but it’s not to find out if your parents will care,” Erwin says. “I have no intention of calling home, actually. I wanted to know if there’s anything going on at home that would make it difficult to focus on schoolwork.”

Levi snorts. “Yeah, and what are you going to do if there is?”

“I could try to help,” Erwin says.

Levi snorts again, a bit more derisively this time. “Everything’s fine, Mr. Smith,” he says.

His tone is dismissive, but Erwin’s not ready to give it up yet. “Can you tell me what you’ve been doing on all the days you’ve missed school, then?”

“Been sick,” he says.

“That’s a lot of sick days,” Erwin says.

“Got a shit immune system.”

“Language,” Erwin says, but his tone is mild. “You’ve never brought in a doctor’s note. Have you been seeing a doctor?”

“Christ, Smith, I just get colds a lot,” Levi says. He’s not looking at him again and clearly growing more agitated. One of his hands slips out of the pocket of his hoodie, and he’s turned slightly away from Erwin but Erwin still sees his hand for a second when he goes to grab the strap of his backpack with it.

“Those are some banged up knuckles,” Erwin says.

Levi stiffens. He has his hand back in his pocket a moment later, eyes sliding from the wall to the floor. “’S nothing. Scraped it,” he says.

Erwin had been in too many fights as a teenager and a young man not to recognize split knuckles when he sees them.

“Looks like you punched something,” Erwin says. His eyes go up again but Levi’s still avoiding eye contact.

_Bullying?_ Erwin thinks. It would make sense. Levi’s not exactly the most popular kid. He’s also not a loner. He has friends he seems comfortable with. Erwin hasn’t seen anyone overtly making fun of or bothering him, but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

“Scraped it,” Levi repeats. Erwin studies his face. There’s no sign of bruising. It’s possible Levi had punched a wall or a fence or something and wasn’t actually fighting someone.

“Levi,” Erwin says. “I know you didn’t just scrape it.”

He waits, but Levi just scowls and looks at the ground.

“I’m not trying to get you into trouble, Levi,” Erwin says. “I’m not going to give you detention. Were you fighting?”

Levi fidgets some more. “’S not a big deal,” he says quietly. “I didn’t start it,” he adds quickly, defensively.

“Someone’s been bothering you?” Erwin asks. “Is it someone at school?”

Levi shakes his head.

“Someone at home?” Erwin presses.

“Just a kid on my street,” Levi says. “Not a big deal.”

“If it becomes a big deal,” Erwin says, “and you tell me, I’ll do my best to help.”

Levi looks at him for a moment, and then he nods slowly.

“I’ll listen if you need help,” Erwin says. “Or if you just want to talk about it.”

Levi huffs, but it’s less scornful this time. He nods, and Erwin tells him he can go to lunch now.

When three days later Levi comes in with a poorly concealed black eye, Erwin stops him again. Levi looks at the ground.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “Not gonna believe me when I say it was a baseball.”

“Do you play baseball?” Erwin asks.

“No.”

“Well that would make the lie much less convincing.”

Levi scowls at him. It’s the closest thing to a laugh that Erwin is ever able to pull from him. “This was the same kid?” Erwin says.

“He’s got some friends,” Levi says. “I can handle it.”

Erwin finds out exactly what that means when Levi gets caught with a switchblade that falls out of his pocket. It’s not a little penknife, or a multitool with a couple of knives, or even a survival style camping blade. The handle is worn but the blade is razor sharp and large for a switchblade. It’s clearly meant for attack or self-defense. Levi makes up what Erwin is nearly positive is a bullshit story about being stupid and thinking it was cool and wanting to show his friends, and is suspended for two days. He comes back looking like shit and tries to slink out of class but Erwin calls him over with a stern voice.

Erwin looks at him. Levi looks at the ground.

“Did you have it because you were tired of being picked on and wanted to scare them,” Erwin says, “or did you have it because you were scared?”

Levi doesn’t answer. “Can I stay after class today to do homework?” he says.

“Yes,” Erwin says.

Erwin doesn’t push more then, mostly because he thinks he’ll be able to ask Levi more once school ends, but as the rest of Erwin’s homeroom leaves at the end of the day and Levi stays, just when Erwin is about to ask him more about it, Levi’s friend Furlan comes in.

Furlan is in the same history class as Levi and Erwin knows that they’re very good friends. Furlan smiles at him when he enters.

“Hi Mr. Smith,” Furlan says. He sits down in a desk next to Levi while Levi takes out some paper and one of his textbooks. Erwin is very doubtful that Furlan’s arrival is a coincidence. He wouldn’t be surprised at all if Levi had asked him to come solely so that Erwin can’t question him.

It becomes a regular occurrence. Furlan and Levi will stay after and sit in Erwin’s classroom doing homework and talking, occasionally asking Erwin a question. Furlan’s more talkative than Levi is, and tries to goad Erwin into conversation often. A girl named Isabel who’s in the grade below them starts showing up too. She’s shy at first, asking him if it’s alright if she stays too, but she quickly grows more comfortable and talks so much that Levi tells her to shut up so he can concentrate nearly every time they’re there. It becomes known that Mr. Smith will let students stay after class and hang out as long as they’re working on homework while there. Some of Levi and Furlan’s other friends come on occasion. Levi, Furlan, and Isabel are there very often though.

Erwin tries to get more information out of Levi, but he won’t budge. He deflects or tells lies that he knows Erwin won’t believe. His grades go up though and his knuckles heal. He seems to be more relaxed. Erwin wonders if walking home a little later in the afternoon results in Levi missing whatever bullies were bothering him.

It doesn’t last. It’s the middle of November and Levi misses two days in a row and then comes in with a black eye and split lip, and he’s trying very hard to hide it, but Erwin sees the limp too. Furlan’s got a frown stuck on his face and a worried expression all history class, and Levi keeps his head down and doesn’t take any notes. Levi doesn’t even try to leave class this time.

Levi walks up to Erwin’s desk. He’s put some type of concealer or makeup over the black eye and he’s done it pretty well. If it weren’t for the split lip, Erwin almost could’ve missed it.

“Can you give me names?” Erwin says quietly.

Levi shakes his head.

“Do they go to this school?”

He shakes his head again.

“Do they go to the high school?”

Levi is still for a long moment. He shakes his head slowly.

Erwin looks at him. “Levi,” Erwin says. “Are these adults?”

Levi has his head down and his hair over his face so Erwin can’t see his eyes. He doesn’t have his hands in his pockets and his knuckles aren’t bloody or raw this time. Levi’s hands start to tremble.

“Levi, please tell me who’s doing this to you,” Erwin says. Erwin’s chest feels tight. He’s already thinking that this is too much, he can’t keep letting this go on. He’s going to need to notify the school, to do _something_.

“If I tell you, it’ll get worse,” Levi says.

His voice is wet and shaking. Erwin’s stomach starts to sink.

“Levi, is this someone at home?”

He shakes his head slowly. “Can I stay here today?” Levi says. “Can I stay late this time?”

“Yes, you can,” Erwin says. “But Levi, I need to know who’s doing this to you.”

Levi shakes his head.

“Is it someone here,” Erwin says, “someone at the school? A teacher?” He doesn’t know who else it could be. If Levi’s telling the truth and it’s not someone at home, but it’s still an adult.

Levi shakes his head. “No.”

“But it’s an adult,” Erwin says. “Levi, I promise I’ll believe you. Even if it’s someone I know, or someone with authority, a teacher or a coach, or someone.”

Levi just shakes his head again.

“Levi, you have to give me something here,” Erwin says. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this and you certainly shouldn’t have to deal with it alone. I can _help_ , Levi, but you have to let me.”

Levi shakes his head. “It’ll just be worse.”

Erwin debates telling Levi that he’s going to have to tell the school. He’s sure Levi won’t take it well. He’s worried the school won’t handle it well either though, worried that they’ll just call CPS and that’s a gamble at best. It very well could get worse for Levi.

“Are you worried the people who did this to you will hurt you again worse if you tell me or are you worried that you’ll be taken from home?” Erwin asks.

Levi’s mouth is a thin line and Erwin’s stomach clenches and he makes a decision.

“I’m a foster parent,” Erwin says. “I can’t make promises but if you don’t have other family that would take you in and you can’t live at home then I have a couple friends who are social workers and I’m confident I could get approved pretty quickly.”

Levi’s eyes snap upwards. They’re wide and searching and Erwin looks back, steadfast. Levi keeps looking at him, and there’s a series of emotions crossing his face, suspicion, disbelief, fear, hope, panic. Levi’s eyes finally lock on his and he stills.

Levi slowly takes his backpack off. He places it carefully on Erwin’s desk. He unzips it. He reaches inside his bag, and then he pulls out several packages and dumps them on Erwin’s desk.

“I live with my uncle,” Levi says, and he meets Erwin’s eyes again. “He makes me run drugs for him.”

Hange’s classroom is right next to his and Erwin knows she has a free period after lunch. He asks her hurriedly to watch his class if no one is back by then and Hange looks at Erwin, then at Levi, then back at Erwin and her expression is that grim, worried serious when she says yes.

Levi is shaking when Erwin brings him down to the office with a hand against his back. He tells the front attendant that he needs to speak with the head guidance counselor immediately, and he must look severe enough because she calls through right away and they’re ushered into a small office.

The guidance counselor tells Erwin that he can leave and Levi gives him such a panicked look that Erwin tells the counselor in no uncertain terms that he will be staying. She acquiesces.

Levi tells them, in stilting, fractured sentences, about his uncle’s drug ring. How Kenny has never done more than slap him and give him a few lashes with a belt, but some of Kenny’s friends are not so restrained, especially when they are high or drunk. Sometimes Kenny is gone for a couple days. If Levi doesn’t do the deliveries that Kenny tells him to then sometimes he’ll get Kenny’s belt, sometimes he doesn’t get to eat. Furlan always brings him a second lunch to take home. Kenny’s friends forced him to try cocaine once.

Levi’s voice shakes the whole time and he wipes at his eyes. Erwin keeps a hand on his shoulder. The guidance counselor calls the police and CPS, then brings Levi hot chocolate from the office and lunch from the cafeteria. Erwin calls Mike and Nanaba.

Furlan barges through the doors to guidance while a secretary yells at him and throws the door open to the guidance counselor’s office.

All three of them, the counselor, Levi, and Erwin, jump. Furlan’s eyes slide across the room and then stop on Levi. His eyes widen and then he takes a deep breath while crossing to the chair Levi’s sitting in. He leans down and hugs him.

Levi’s face is all surprise and he stiffens when Furlan first wraps his arms tightly around him. It only takes a moment though, and then suddenly his expression breaks and he presses his forehead down against Furlan’s shoulder and clutches at the back of his shirt, shaking.

They get Furlan hot chocolate too. He drags a chair over as close to Levi as possible and then keeps one hand on his knee. He looks frightened too but he does a good job of staying calm for Levi.

Mike shows up with another social worker from CPS. The police arrive very shortly afterwards. They introduce themselves and then Levi repeats what he’s told Erwin and the guidance counselor, with some more details this time at the gentle prompting of the police officer.

Then Mike explains that he’s going to take Levi to a hospital, and Levi tenses up completely.

“I – no,” he says. He looks from Mike to Erwin, shaking his head.

“We want to get you checked out,” Mike explains calmly, “the doctor’s just going to take a look at your injuries and treat them to make sure everything is healing fine.”

“It is,” Levi says. “My nose’s not broke, and I can breathe fine, and nothings broken or shit.”

“We really need to take you to a doctor just to make sure you’re not hurt more than you realize,” Mike says. _And to gain medical evidence,_ Erwin thinks, but doesn’t say.

“It’ll be alright, Lee,” Furlan says quietly.

Levi shakes his head adamantly. “No,” he says. “I’m fine, I don’t need it.”

“Levi, why don’t you want to go?” Erwin says.

“I don’t needa,” he says again. There’s a panicked look on his face though.

Mike shifts forward in his chair, just to lean forward to get more at Levi’s eye level, and Levi flinches suddenly, drawing his legs up and pushing himself back in his own chair.

“’M not going!” he says. His eyes flick around and he tenses like he’s gearing up for a fight.

“Okay,” Mike says. “Can we have a nurse come check you out here instead?”

Levi shakes his head. “’M _fine_.”

Erwin slips down to crouch in front of Levi’s chair, far enough away not to be threatening but close enough that he can speak quietly, at eye level. “Levi, what’s wrong?” he says.

“ _Not_ going,” he says.

“You’ve had a bad experience with a doctor?” Erwin says. “Can you tell me what scared you, and then maybe we can make sure that doesn’t happen again?”

Levi shakes his head.

“Please, Levi? We really need to get you checked out but if you can tell us what’s scared you we can do our best to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“You’ll do it anyway,” Levi says.

“Is it needles?” Erwin asks. “I don’t think you’ll need any shots.”

Levi shakes his head.

Furlan suddenly straightens and then leans in a little towards Levi, speaking softly. “Is it the fishing line?”

Levi trembles and nods.

Furlan’s expression changes, going soft. “Lee, they’re not gonna do that to you,” Furlan says, rubbing his back.

“Yeah, they could,” Levi says.

“You got…” Furlan trails off.

Levi nods quickly, before Furlan can finish. Furlan frowns. “It’s not bad though, it’s fine, I took care of it,” Levi says.

“Levi, you gotta let them look at it,” Furlan says. “It wouldn’t be like _that_ , they’d do it real and shit.”

Levi brings his knees up to his chest and puts his head down, shaking his head fast.

Furlan opens his mouth, looks at Levi, then looks up. “He’s afraid you’re gonna make him get stitches,” he says.

Levi’s head shoots up and he gives Furlan a murderous glare.

“It’s _fine_ ,” Furlan says. “I told you, they give you like, Novocain or some shit.”

Things click into place all at once and Erwin feels sick.

“Levi,” Erwin says very carefully. “Did your uncle or someone give you stitches for a cut with fishing line at home before?”

Levi says nothing but he trembles and Furlan gives them all a small nod.

“Levi, if you need stitches at the hospital I _promise_ you they would numb it first. You’d need a small shot and then it would be completely numb, you wouldn’t feel anything,” he says. “That’s standard, that is how they _always_ do it.”

“I don’t wanna go,” Levi says.

“I know, Levi, but we really need you to go to make sure you’re healthy,” Erwin says. “I promise it’ll be alright. I promise they’re not going to hurt you like that. They might even be able to make it stop hurting as much.”

Levi is silent for a long moment. “Okay,” he says.

They wrap things up there. Erwin asks Mike quietly if he will be allowed to go with Levi to the hospital. Mike grunts.

“It’s not encouraged,” he says. “But I’m sure as hell not going to stop you.”

Erwin gets permission from the principle first (though he more or less asserts that he _will_ be going), and then asks Levi if he would like him to come. Levi nods quickly.

“I’m coming too,” Furlan says.

“I’m not sure we can do that, Furlan,” Erwin says. “I think you’re going to have to stay here.”

The fear on Levi’s face heightens and Furlan glares. “The hell I’m not,” he says.

There’s a round of arguing at that, of which the guidance counselor attempts to enter and resolutely makes things worse. Eventually Furlan fumes and turns to Levi. “I’ll call you,” he says. “If you call while I’m in class I’ll go to the bathroom and call right back.”

Erwin says nothing of the admission and neither does the guidance counselor.

Mike takes Levi in his car. Erwin follows afterwards in his. Levi wanted to go with Erwin but Mike calmly explained that he’d have to ride with him. Erwin tried to reassure Levi by explaining that Mike was one of his best friend’s and that Erwin would be right behind them.

The hospital brings them in quickly. Levi’s clearly very anxious, and he quickly becomes defensive and uncooperative because of it. He doesn’t want anyone touching him, doesn’t want pictures being taken of him, doesn’t want to take his clothes off, won’t let them take the bandage off his leg. Erwin tries to calm him down and comfort him but eventually Levi curls away from him too. He starts crying when they finally get the bandage on his leg off and start looking at the cut that’s underneath it.

“I shouldn’t have fucking said anything,” Levi says, letting out a sob, eyes squeezed shut as a doctor washes crusted blood from his leg.

The words hurt and Erwin can only tell himself that Levi is scared and upset and he’ll feel differently when the whole thing is over. Mike meets Erwin’s eyes and gives him a reassuring look. Erwin’s heard enough from Mike about how kids, even when living with abusers, will most often not want to leave them, often angry and almost always scared when taken away.

It doesn’t need stitches – it probably should have had stitches when he got it, but it’s been three days and there’s no point now. When everything’s done Mike gives Levi a few minutes to calm down, and then he gives Erwin another look.

“Levi,” Erwin says gently. Levi’s huddled up on the bed, pressed into the corner, dressed again. He’s no longer crying but he still looks upset and scared. He glares at Erwin. “I’m sorry that was so hard,” he says. Levi doesn’t look at him. “My friend Mike is going to bring you back to your house so you can get some of your things – some clothes, your toothbrush, whatever you’ll need for a few days – and then he’s going to bring you to somewhere you can stay tonight.”

Levi looks up then at Erwin, eyes wide again for a moment. And then they go tight with fear.

“Okay,” he says, very quiet. “Where am I gonna stay?”

“Mike will tell you about it,” Erwin says. “It’ll be someplace safe for you to stay for a few days.”

Levi is quiet for another moment. “They’re not gonna make me go back, right?” he says, and it’s a different fear this time. “Because he’ll hurt me this time – I mean he’ll _really_ hurt me if I go back, because I told people about the drugs.”

“They’re not going to let you go back,” Erwin says. Levi nods. “I don’t know if I’ll see you for a few days,” Erwin says. “But I want you to know that I will be filing the papers for your foster care tonight. Hopefully everything will go through quickly.”

Levi nods slowly. He glances over at Mike and then glances back to Erwin. Erwin takes his hand and squeezes and gives him a smile.

“You’ve been very brave, and I know everything is very scary right now, but it’s going to get better. You’re going to be alright.”

Levi reaches forward and hugs him, and doesn’t let go for a long moment.

Three days. Levi is absent from school for three days while staying in emergency foster care. Erwin talks with him on the phone once. The first thing Levi asks is if the foster care papers have gone through and if Erwin can take him and Erwin still wants to take him right? And Erwin assures him that he does, that he fully plans to and Mike and Nanaba are working on it, and Levi interrupts him and starts telling him that he hates it there, that it's dirty and gross and he wants to leave and when will he get to go back to school and they wouldn’t let him leave or see Furlan. And then he asks hurriedly what happened with Kenny and does Kenny know where he is? He sounds scared.

Three days. Mike and Nanaba manage to push through the paperwork for a temporary placement through in two days, and just in time, because the third day is Friday and they won’t be able to get the paperwork through over the weekend. They get it all done in two days and then Erwin comes home on the third and that afternoon Mike arrives with Levi.

Levi walks into the house slowly. He has a full backpack and a duffle bag that looks much too big for him to carry but which he holds easily nonetheless. He looks suspicious and guarded, but there’s relief there too.

Erwin gives him a tour of his house. It’s fairly small – two bedrooms and an office, living room, kitchen. Erwin shows Levi his bedroom.

“I thought you said you were already a foster parent,” Levi says. “Where’s the other kid?”

“I was waiting for a placement,” Erwin says. “My foster son Armin went back to live with his grandfather. He was in the hospital for a while and couldn’t take care of him.”

The room is still decorated the way it was before. Armin was only six, and Erwin’s already thinking that Levi might want a desk, and Erwin hadn’t bothered buying a new bedspread, but the patterned dinosaurs on this one are probably not to his liking.

“We’ll go shopping tomorrow,” Erwin says, “pick up anything else you need.”

Levi puts his two bags down and then touches the fabric of the blanket. Then he slides his hand over the dresser, slipping his fingers under the lip of the top. He inspects his fingers afterwards. He looks up at Erwin.

“Where do you keep cleaning supplies?”

It is about the last thing Erwin is expecting.

Erwin shows him where they are. He then watches as Levi vacuums the carpet, dusts every surface, washes every surface, sprays and cleans the window, and then strips the bed completely and gathers up the blankets and sheets in his arms.

“Washing machine?” he says.

Erwin shows him where it is.

Levi washes all the sheets and then carefully makes the bed again afterwards. Erwin makes dinner and Levi barely eats anything. He’s spoken very little. Erwin’s trying to appear as calm and normal as possible.

“Can you walk to Park street from here?” Levi says while pushing some food around on his plate.

Erwin blinks. “Park street? Is that where your uncle lives?”

Levi shakes his head. “Furlan lives on Park street. Isabel on Center. It’s next to Park.”

“I’ll look it up,” Erwin says. He pulls out his phone. “It looks like it would be too far to walk,” Erwin says. “But I can drive you over there if you want to visit.”

Levi’s frown deepens a little more. “Okay,” he says. “Can I see them tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Erwin says.

They watch TV for a little bit. Levi curls up in the corner of the couch. It makes him look very young, and it’s still weird to see him in this context, in his home. Erwin asks what Levi likes to watch but he just shrugs so Erwin puts on House Hunters like he usually does.

The next day they go shopping. They buy new blankets first, and then a desk and chair, and then they go clothes shopping. Levi looks a little overwhelmed by it all. He doesn’t talk very much.

“I’ve got clothes,” he says as they walk through the aisles of Target.

“Yes, but you couldn’t have been able to bring very much,” Erwin says. “Pick some things out to try on. Whatever you like.”

“How many?” Levi says, as he touches a sweatshirt next to him.

“As many as you want,” Erwin says.

Levi looks at him almost suspiciously, but he takes the sweatshirt off the rack and puts it into the carriage that Erwin pushes.

They buy a lot of clothes. Levi does not look particularly enthused about any of them, but Erwin notices the way his eyes linger on the things he likes. After that they go grocery shopping, and that gets a much bigger reaction.

“Anything I want?” Levi says, eyes wide but eyebrows down, suspicious and yet astonished.

“Within reason,” Erwin says. “Not too much candy or snacks.”

Levi looks at him with wide eyes for one more moment, and then he takes off.

It’s both very amusing and very heartbreaking that he’s so excited to pick out food. Levi brings back Lucky Charms and Eggo waffles, chips and pistachio ice cream. He puts in two bags of kitkats and Erwin puts one back. Levi pouts at him but goes and grabs chocolate milk a second later.

But then he also grabs bread and yogurt and eggs. He gets cans of soup and green beans and instant mashed potatoes. Ramen and mac and cheese. He asks for frozen chicken tenders, but Erwin gets chicken from the refrigerated section instead.

When they’re done grocery shopping Erwin asks Levi if he wants anything else. Levi is quiet for a long time.

“Can we get a soccer ball?” he says.

So they get a soccer ball.


	2. Blind Reach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi's first couple weeks together.
> 
> Some things go well, some don't.

Levi watches Erwin while Erwin makes his lunch. Erwin’s packing his own lunch anyway, and it’s only sandwiches. He’s a big believer in letting kids be as independent and self-sufficient as possible, but there’s no reason he shouldn’t make Levi one too when he already has all the things out. He puts the sandwich in a Tupperware container and then realizes that they didn’t buy a lunchbox.

Erwin doesn’t have any paper bags so it goes in a plastic grocery bag instead. He’s just about to ask Levi what else he wants in his lunch but when he turns around Levi is already shoving a handful of kitkat bars and a bag of chips in.

“Wait,” Erwin says. He takes the kitkats and Levi glares at him. Erwin hands him back one bar. “One,” he says.

Levi scowls at him. “You said it was my food,” he says.

“It’s our food,” Erwin says. “And you’ll make yourself sick with that much chocolate. It’s not good for you.”

“I want to share with Furlan and Is,” he says.

“Fine, three then,” Erwin says, giving Levi two more.

Levi looks down at the candies and then back up at Erwin. “And Eld and Petra,” he says, expression perfectly blank.

“I don’t think so,” Erwin says.

Levi pouts. Erwin can’t help the smile breaking out on his face so he turns around to go put the other kitkats back.

School goes well. Erwin goes down to the office to file some paperwork since he is now Levi’s legal guardian. Levi seems fine at school – he saw Furlan over the weekend, but they still hug when they see each other in class. The three of them stay after in Erwin’s classroom again, and Isabel spends the entire time asking questions.

“Is there a big yard?” Isabel asks.

Levi shrugs. Erwin watches over the papers he’s grading. Levi has a notebook out but Erwin’s pretty sure he’s just doodling. Normally if there was this much idle conversation he’d say something to try to redirect them back to work, but he’s letting it go this time.

“Does Mr. Smith have a dog? Or a cat?”

“No,” Levi says.

“What’s your new room look like?”

Levi shrugs.

“Can we come see it?” Isabel says. She looks over at Erwin. “Mr. Smith can we come see Levi’s new room?”

“Sure, if it’s alright with your parents,” he says.

“It’s alright with them,” Isabel says.

“I’d want to actually speak to someone,” Erwin says. “So they know where you are.”

Isabel turns to Furlan. “Furlan can you call –”

“I don’t think he meant today, Is,” Furlan says.

Isabel’s head swivels back to Erwin. “Mr. Smith can we come over t-”

“If it’s alright with Levi yes, you can come over for dinner today,” Erwin says.

Levi’s eyes are a little wide, but when Isabel turns towards him he nods. Furlan’s already tapping at his phone. Erwin doesn’t think he’s ever seen Isabel with one, so he assumes she doesn’t have one. He hadn’t met either Isabel or Furlan’s parents over the weekend – the three of them had met at the park.

“Hi Maya, it’s Furlan,” Furlan says into the phone. “Yeah, me and Isabel wanna go see Levi after school but Mr. Smith said we have to ask so is it…” He pauses, then looks over at Erwin. “She says it’s fine,” he says.

“Could I talk to her a minute?” Erwin says. He looks at Isabel. “Is this your mother?”

“Grandma,” she says.

Erwin speaks briefly with Isabel’s grandmother, who does not seem very concerned at all about her going over. Erwin says that he’ll drive the two of them home afterwards. He asks Furlan to call his parents after he hangs up.

“My ma won’t care,” he says. “I can’t call her now, she’s at work. She don’t get home until late. I’ll text her and my sister though.”

Erwin frowns but after Furlan shows him a text back from his mother saying it’s alright and to be back before nine, Erwin takes it. It seems odd to him to be so hands off when the kids are only nine and ten, but he doesn’t comment.

So the three kids pile into the back of Erwin’s car. Erwin pulls out a second booster seat from the back of his car, still left there from when he drove some of Armin’s friends. Isabel looks at him like he’s crazy but Levi rolls his eyes and tells her to just sit on it. Erwin’s fairly certain Furlan doesn’t need one, but Isabel is just as small as Levi. Levi too had given him a look when Erwin first told him he not only could not sit up front, but needed to use a booster seat.

They go home and Isabel runs around the whole house before the three of them go outside to kick around the soccer ball until it gets dark. Erwin takes down some board games he has shoved in the back of a closet for them and they play until dinner.

“Does Isabel live with her grandparents?” Erwin says when he and Levi are driving back from dropping off the other two.

“Yeah,” Levi says.

“And Furlan with his parents?”

“Just his mom,” Levi says, “and his sister and brothers.”

The week actually goes by remarkably well. Levi seems to settle in well, though he still exhibits some worrying habits. Erwin has woken up a couple of times in the middle of the night to find Levi back out of bed, either watching TV or sitting in his room reading or drawing, claiming that he can’t sleep. It’s becoming increasingly clear that he has to have at the very least mild OCD – Erwin has never met as clean and neat of a ten year old. He also just seems bored a lot of the time. He sits on the couch watching TV without looking interested. He doesn’t even play on his phone or binge watch TV shows or play computer games like kids his age usually do. Erwin asks him what he likes to do and Levi just shrugs.

Erwin brings him to the library, and this seems to help. He buys him new colored pencils and some paint and paper and Levi stares at them for a very long time.

“I’ve seen you doodling a lot,” Erwin says, growing a little concerned when Levi says nothing for so long. “I thought you might like some art supplies.”

Levi looks up at him and Erwin can’t name the expression on his face. “Thank you,” he says.

There are some bumps. Levi is clearly not used to someone wanting to know where he is all the time. Erwin nearly panics when he can’t find Levi at the end of a school day. He calls him three times before calling Furlan (who he’d gotten the number of earlier that week from Levi for emergencies).

“Oh,” Furlan says. “We walked over to the park.”

They have a discussion about Erwin knowing Levi’s whereabouts. Erwin realizes he’ll need to be a bit more flexible than he’d like, that Levi is used to going wherever he likes whenever he likes, and that he’s a very smart and independent kid. But he’s also ten, and Erwin needs to know where he is.

The next Wednesday, a week and a half after Levi came to live with him, Erwin takes Levi to see a child therapist.

It goes poorly, though Erwin always expected that it would. He’s tried several times to talk to Levi about what happened, about living with his uncle and whatever took place that had left him beat up and with a cut on his leg deep enough that it should have gotten stitches. He tried asking about the foster care he was placed in before going to Erwin. He tried talking about how Levi liked it there with him, if there was anything Erwin could do to make him more comfortable. Levi only shrugged or said he didn’t want to talk about it. Levi won’t talk to the therapist about it either.

“I’m not crazy,” he says afterwards, scowling. “I don’t need a damn shrink, Smith.”

“Language,” Erwin says. He nearly winces at the “Smith.” He’s told Levi that he can call him Erwin if he wants, and Levi now occasionally does so. He still mostly calls him “Mr. Smith” but only just “Smith” when he’s angry or annoyed. “People don’t see therapists because they’re crazy,” Erwin says. “They see them because they’re having some trouble, or because they’ve been through very difficult things.”

Levi glowers the whole ride home.

A few days later, Erwin tells Levi that they’re going to see a doctor, and that is met with a lot more resistance.

“No,” Levi says.

“I know you’ve been having trouble sleeping,” Erwin says. “I just want to ask him about it.”

“I’m not going,” Levi says. “I don’t need to see anyone.”

Erwin tries to reason with him some more, but Levi grows agitated and then clearly scared, flinching from him. It makes Erwin freeze, and then Levi suddenly looks like he’s going to start crying.

“I’m not going,” Levi says. “I won’t get in the car. I’ll – I’ll run, you can’t make me.”

“Levi, you really should get checked out,” Erwin says as calmly as he can, as Levi presses himself into the corner of the couch. “It’s not healthy how you aren’t sleeping, and it can’t feel good either. I want to make sure there’s nothing wrong, and ask him what we should be doing to help you sleep.” Levi glares at him from his corner. “What if Furlan came with us?” Erwin says.

He finally gets Levi to more or less agree to go. The appointment is after school the next day, and they have to leave a few minutes early to get there on time. Once there Levi is jittery and clearly nervous. Erwin doesn’t realize there could be more to his aversion to going than the fear of stitches and the previous trip to the hospital until they’re standing in line and Levi recoils from a coughing child. He gets up and uses the hand sanitizer on the front counter three times during their wait.

Furlan holds Levi’s hand while they wait, which is absolutely adorable, but also makes Erwin’s chest tighten a little bit. So far Levi has not been open to much physical comfort from him. He flinches when Erwin gets too close, usually sits on the opposite side of the couch, and Erwin hasn’t tried to hug him. It’s not even been two weeks though, and Erwin knows it could take much longer than that for Levi to really be comfortable around him. He’s glad for now that he has Furlan and Isabel.

Levi refuses to get undressed or sit on the exam table when he gets there. Erwin doesn’t try to force him. Instead he waits outside the exam room while Furlan and Levi stay inside, and explains to the doctor in the hallway about Levi’s situation and his anxiety.

The doctor asks Levi lots of questions which Levi barely answers. Erwin adds some detail every once in a while, and so does Furlan.

The doctor recommends melatonin supplements and a few tips about preparing for bed, most of which Erwin has already tried implementing. Then he says he’d like to take a blood sample to check for anything wrong. Erwin winces.

“What’s that?” Levi says. He looks suspiciously from Erwin to the doctor. “You gonna cut me or somthin’?”

“No, nothing like that,” the doctor says calmly, giving a placating smile. “It’s just a little prick, so we can get a small sample of blood to test. It only takes a moment.”

“No,” Levi says. He tenses up in his chair. “I’m not doing that.”

“It really does only take a moment, Levi,” Erwin says. “It only takes a second.”

“No,” Levi says, shaking his head. His eyes dart from Erwin to the doctor, looking like he’s ready to bolt.

“I’ll go inform the nurse,” the doctor says, giving Erwin a smile and leaving.

“I’m _not_ doing it,” Levi says loudly as he leaves.

They spend the next five minutes with Erwin trying to calm him down and Levi adamantly refusing to go through with the procedure. Furlan tries to help too but Levi just seems to grow more anxious.

“It’s just like a shot, right?” Furlan says, glancing at Erwin. Erwin nods. “You’ve had shots, haven’t you, Lee?”

“I’m not doing it,” he just repeats again.

“Okay, why don’t we take a moment to breathe,” Erwin says, when it’s clear they’re not getting anywhere. Levi’s hands are trembling now and he’s grown both angrier and more pleading.

The nurse walks in then. Levi’s eyes dart towards her, then to the tray she’s carrying. She says hello and puts the tray down, asking how they are.

“Hi,” Erwin says. “We’re well thank you, Levi’s just a little nervous about the blood test. He’s had some bad experiences with doctors.”

“No worries,” she says, “we can go nice and slow. Hi Levi, my name’s Alice.”

“I’m _not_ having the test,” Levi says. “I won’t.”

To her credit, Alice really does try to calm him down first. She spends several minutes, but Levi is even more combative with her than he is with Erwin. And then her voice goes from gentle to stern, and Erwin starts to frown just as she says, “Levi, if you won’t work with us here, then I’m going to have to ask your dad to hold you still for me while I get the sample.”

And Erwin knows as soon as the words are out of her mouth that she has just made things infinitely worse.

Levi jumps up from his seat and is backed up against the wall in an instant. His eyes dart from the nurse to Erwin and to the door, back and forth. She takes a step forward before Erwin can say anything, and then suddenly Levi has a knife in his hand.

“Get the fuck away from me,” he says, holding it in front of him.

The nurse recoils at the same moment as Erwin feels a wash of horror. “Levi!” he says. “Why do you have that, put that down!”

Furlan is probably the one who reacts the best, Erwin realizes afterwards. He steps up between the nurse and Erwin and Levi, hands up, facing Levi.

“Lee – Lee, you gotta put that down. You’re gonna make it worse, you gotta put it down,” he says.

Levi looks behind him though, at the nurse and Erwin. _He’s terrified_ , Erwin realizes with a sinking stomach. His eyes are wide and his hands trembling, face white.

“Leave me alone,” Levi says to them. His voice cracks. “Leave me alone.”

“Lee, hey, Lee, give me the knife,” Furlan says. “Come on, I won’t let them do anything, let me see it.”

Levi shakes his head and his eyes slip to Furlan for a moment. “They’re gonna hurt me,” he says. “She said she’s gon-gonna hold me down, they’re gonna hurt me.”

Erwin finally recovers enough. He turns to the nurse, suddenly furious as well as shocked and saddened. “If you would please leave and give us a few minutes,” he says.

“Sir –” she starts.

“He comes from an abusive home and I believe you’ve just made things quite worse, so if you would give us a few minutes please,” Erwin says.

She opens and closes her mouth but then leaves.

“They’re not gonna hold you down,” Furlan says. He turns to look at Erwin. “ _Right?_ ” he says, with a very pointed look.

“No one’s going to hold you down, Levi, I promise,” Erwin says. “She got frustrated and misspoke – I wouldn’t let anyone do that to you.” He pauses. “Can you please give Furlan the knife, Levi?”

Levi lowers his arm slowly, eyes glancing behind them where the nurse has left. He flips the switchblade shut, and then bursts into tears.

Furlan hugs him. Erwin feels useless.

“I wanna go home,” he says, shaking. “I wanna go home, Fur. I wanna go back to yours. I wanna leave.”

Erwin debates. This has been a complete debacle, but he expects it will not be much better if they have to come back. He says nothing for a bit, lets Levi cry while Furlan hugs him and rubs his back.

A few minutes later a different nurse comes in. Levi’s head snaps up when he hears the door open, and his eyes go wide as he shrinks back.

“It’s okay,” Furlan says. “They’re not gonna hurt you.”

The nurse gives Erwin a smile, and then she crouches down on the floor. “Hi sweetie,” she says. “Alice told me you’re a little nervous about the blood test. That’s okay. Lots of people get nervous, but it’s really nothing to be afraid of. So I thought maybe I could show you what I’m going to do, so you can see it’s no big deal.”

She demonstrates, without actually pricking him, what the blood test entails on Erwin. Levi watches from over Furlan’s shoulder, still hugging him tightly. Erwin watches as his breathing slows some, and the crying stops. She takes her time, speaking slowly and calmly. When she’s done she asks if Levi thinks he’s ready for his turn.

“You’re not gonna grab me?” he says, eyes darting from the nurse to Erwin, back and forth again. “You’re not gonna hold me down?”

“I promise neither of us will hold you down,” Erwin says firmly.

Levi’s eyes dart some more.

“As soon as it’s over we can leave,” Erwin says.

Levi finally agrees. He sits on a chair with Furlan and the nurse crouches down next to them instead of having him sit up on the table. Levi turns away and squeezes Furlan’s hand, eyes shut tightly. He flinches when the nurse touches him, but doesn’t make a sound when she actually inserts the needle. He breathes raggedly through the whole thing, but it’s over quickly. The woman at reception as they leave offers him a candy and Levi just looks at her, a blank expression. Furlan takes it from her and thanks her for it.

They get into the car, and just as Erwin turns the ignition he hears a sob. He looks behind him and sees as Levi breaks into a new round of trembling, then starts crying harshly.

Erwin has no idea what to do. He was not expecting this. He figured Levi would get upset at the doctor’s, would be nervous, but he hadn’t expected such an extreme reaction, certainly hadn’t expected the knife, and absolutely did not expect him to start crying again in the car after the whole thing was already over with.

Erwin brings them home, and Levi goes immediately to his bedroom, Furlan following.

Erwin gives them a few minutes, and then makes up two bowls of ice cream. He knocks lightly before pushing the door open.

Levi is curled up in a ball on his bed, under blankets, his eyes and nose red, Furlan sitting on the bed next to him, back against the wall, one hand on his shoulder. Erwin leaves the ice cream for them.

Levi doesn’t eat the ice cream. He doesn’t eat dinner either. He’s silent the rest of the night. Erwin doesn’t have the heart to bring up the very much needed conversation about the knife. Erwin tries to talk to him, tries to explain that the nurse didn’t know how much that would upset him, that Erwin never would have held him still like that anyway. Levi doesn’t say one word. He’s just as despondent and withdrawn the next morning as well.

Erwin calls the therapist during his break. Levi’s already scheduled in for another meeting but Erwin doesn’t know what to do about either his behavior or the knife. His first instinct is to take the knife away, but it is pretty clear that Levi had it for a reason, that he previously needed it, living with his uncle, and Erwin is afraid that it will make Levi feel unsafe if he doesn’t have it. At the same time, they cannot have a repeat of the incident with the nurse. They’re lucky that everyone at the office was understanding and that the nurse felt guilty for bringing up what was clearly a trigger from the abuse Levi went through.

Erwin comes up with what he thinks is a good compromise. He sits down with Levi that afternoon and asks if he’d like to start martial arts classes.

Levi’s eyes widen. And then Erwin tells him that he is no longer allowed to carry a knife with him anywhere, and Erwin wants to see that switchblade. When Levi argues Erwin tells him that he will buy him pepper spray that he can bring with him when Erwin’s not with him, but never to school, and he is only to use it in self-defense against adults in real emergencies. Levi doesn’t look happy about it but he reluctantly agrees. 

“You don’t need to protect yourself like that anymore,” Erwin says. “No one is going to hurt you. Of course you want to be careful when you’re out with your friends without an adult, but you’re not in danger like you were before. You’re safe now.” 

Erwin was expecting schoolwork to be a hard transition for Levi, living with Erwin. Erwin knows that Levi had previously been completing homework only sporadically – it got better when he started staying after school with Erwin, but still – he was in detention often for it. He is pleasantly surprised when Levi doesn’t act annoyed or make any objections when Erwin asks him what homework he has each day, or says that Levi needs to start his homework before dinner each day.

But Levi doesn’t complain, not at all, which actually seems very odd. Erwin wonders again if Levi’s just very bored. He can’t tell if Levi’s inactivity is a result of boredom and a lack of interesting opportunities or if he’s depressed.

Erwin gets him enrolled in martial arts and brings him to his first class. He seems excited about it, and when Erwin comes back to pick him up he’s waiting with some other children and Erwin even sees him smile, but the instructor pulls him aside as soon as he’s there.

“Hi, Levi’s dad, right? Erwin?” the man says.

Erwin frowns at the man’s expression. It’s concerned, a careful frown on his face. “Foster father,” Erwin says, shaking his hand. He’d spoken to a different instructor when he dropped Levi off.

“Ah,” the man says. “Was he placed with you recently?”

“Yes,” Erwin says, “why?”

“Do you know if he’s taken any kind of martial arts or other training before?”

“I seriously doubt it,” Erwin says. He can’t imagine that Levi had been enrolled in anything before.

The man nods. “I don’t really know how to say this, but it’s clear that someone’s taught him how to fight before. I’m pretty sure involving knives.”

Erwin’s face falls and he straightens a little, glancing over at Levi before looking back. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” he says, “it’s just a little concerning seeing that in someone so young.”

Erwin lets out a breath. “He came from a bad situation,” Erwin says. “Let me just say it doesn’t surprise me.” Erwin waits a moment. “You’re not bringing this up because he’s done anything, are you? You’re not worried it’s going to be a problem?”

“Oh, no, he was very respectful, and we’re very careful about safety,” he says. “I just thought you should be aware.”

Erwin hesitates again but decides to continue. “It’s one of the reasons I signed him up,” he says.

“Can I take the bus to Furlan’s on Wednesday?” Levi asks him the same week.

“You have an appointment on Wednesday,” Erwin says. Levi has an appointment every Wednesday at four o’clock. It’s on the calendar. Erwin knows that Levi knows this.

“You could cancel it,” Levi says. They’re sitting at dinner, Levi picking at chicken and peas. Despite his enthusiasm for grocery shopping (which has not let up – Levi always goes with him) Levi doesn’t eat very much at all. It’s another thing which Erwin finds mildly concerning.

“You need to go to the appointments,” Erwin says. “Unless it’s a special occasion, I’m not canceling them.”

“I don’t want to go though,” Levi says, stabbing at the chicken. “It’s stupid. I just sit in a chair while she asks me stupid fucking questions. I hate her.”

“Language,” Erwin says. “Levi, you’ve been through some very difficult things, and it’s okay to need some help dealing with –”

“I don’t need help,” he says. “I’m fucking fine.”

“Levi,” Erwin says, his voice going more stern. Levi glares down at his plate. “We can talk about this more, but I will not have you using that language with me.” He waits, and Levi doesn’t say anything, just keeps stabbing at his food without eating any and glaring down at his plate. “If you really do not like the therapist,” Erwin says. “Then we can try a different one. But you are going to keep going. It’s important, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I think if you gave it a shot, you might be surprised at how it could help.”

“Help what?” Levi says, mumbled venomously into his plate.

They settle into a routine and Erwin suddenly finds himself very busy. On Mondays Levi rides the bus with Isabel and Furlan and Erwin picks him up after dinner. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Levi has martial arts. Wednesdays Erwin takes him to the therapist. Fridays Isabel and Furlan stay over. It started with dinner and then moved to a sleepover. Erwin is hesitant about having Isabel sleepover as well but the three of them are so close and they’re all still so young that after getting an okay from Isabel’s grandmother and Furlan’s mother he relents. He drives Levi to see his friends on Sundays as well.

It’s about three weeks after Levi first came to live with him that Erwin starts noticing the missing food.

It’s soup cans and ramen and canned vegetables and cereal, that Erwin notices, though he wonders if there’s been more that he hasn’t. He knows that Isabel’s grandparents don’t have a lot of money, that when Levi rides the bus with them on Mondays the three of them eat at Furlan’s. Isabel also displays some of the same worrying signs Levi does around food when she stays over, far too excited by the variety and quantity. That, coupled with the knowledge that Furlan had been bringing an extra lunch for Levi before he started staying with Erwin makes Erwin think he might be giving extra food to Isabel.

It’s Sunday and Erwin’s been trying to find the right way to address the whole thing when he’s doing laundry. Levi does his own laundry most of the time, but Erwin was throwing in a load and grabbed some of the clothes from the basket in Levi’s room. He’s outside in the yard with Furlan and Isabel when Erwin goes to put away some of his clothes.

He hangs up some shirts in Levi’s closet, and in the process accidentally knocks Levi’s duffle bag off the shelf where it sits. He goes to pick it up and finds it’s very, very heavy.

Erwin pauses, gets a sick feeling in his stomach, and then opens it up. There are dozens of cans of food inside, along with bags of cereal and an assortment of granola bars, fruit snacks, and crackers. There’s no candy, no chips – it’s almost all more substantial food.

Erwin zips the bag back up and puts it back on the shelf. He finishes doing the laundry, sits in the living room grading papers until Furlan’s sister picks Furlan and Isabel up. Levi sits down at the other end of the couch, and Erwin turns to him.

“Levi,” he says, as calmly as possible, “I did some of your laundry, and I was putting some shirts away when your duffle bag fell of the shelf. Why do you have so much food in your room?”

Levi tenses up completely, and then looks away from him, fidgeting uncomfortably. He says nothing.

“You’re not in trouble,” Erwin says. “I just want to know why you have it.”

Levi still says nothing. He looks small on the couch, and he keeps staring downwards.

“Are you worried we’ll run out of food?” Erwin says.

“It’s just in case,” Levi says quietly.

“Just in case what?” Erwin says, still calm, steady.

“Case somethin’ happened.”

Erwin waits, but Levi doesn’t elaborate. “Like what?”

“Like I had to leave.”

Erwin frowns then. “Why would you need to leave?” The alarming thought that Levi is planning to run away, or at least planning for the possibility of running away, enters his mind.

“If somethin’ happened,” Levi says. He picks at a loose thread on his shirt. “And I couldn’t stay here anymore.”

“What do you think could happen?” Erwin says.

Levi shrugs. “You don’t want me to stay, or you can’t have me.”

Erwin knows that it is not an uncommon fear among foster children, though Levi has never been in foster care before, has not had the trauma of moving around from home to home.

“Levi,” Erwin says, as steady, as sincere as he can. “I am not planning on kicking you out anytime soon.”

“You could still get sick or somthin’,” Levi says.

“That’s true,” Erwin says. “I can’t promise that you’ll live with me from now until you graduate, because I don’t know what will happen to me or to you in that time, but I can promise you that I’m not going to suddenly decide I don’t want you here. I rather like living with you, Levi, and I care about you very much.”

Levi doesn’t look up, and Erwin can only hope that his words will help.

“I want you to stop stockpiling food in your room though,” Erwin says, still gentle though firm. “I’m never going to withhold food from you, Levi. It will always be sitting there in the pantry and the fridge. If something were to happen to me, if you had to leave, you would be taken to another foster care home, where there will be food for you. Even if there was some kind of emergency, you could just take the food in the pantry. You don’t need to hide it from me.”

Levi says nothing, just plays with the thread on his shirt with a blank expression, head tilted down.

“Can you please help me put the food back, Levi?”

Levi is silent for a moment, and then he starts to get up. “Okay.”


	3. Slow Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi keeps adjusting and Erwin keeps learning.

Levi gets into a fight at school, in the lunchroom. It is not the first fight he’s been in at school, Erwin knows. Because Erwin is his legal guardian, he is summoned to the principal’s office, pulled away in the middle of teaching a class. He’s not pleased, but he is also not surprised. Levi’s gotten in trouble for fighting before, and he’s just gone through a major transition in his life.

When he gets there, the principal sits behind his desk and Levi sits in a chair, looking very small in it. Another boy whom Erwin doesn’t recognize sits in another chair a few feet away. Levi avoids his eyes, resolutely staring downwards. He doesn’t look very hurt – no noticeable bruising or blood, at least that Erwin can see. Erwin glances at the other boy and finds that that is not the case for him.

He’s holding bloodstained tissues to his nose and his right eye is a little swollen. That’s not going to fair well for Levi no matter who started it.

“Erwin,” the principal says, nodding at him. It’s not a disapproving look but it’s also not a pleased one. He gestures at another chair against the wall beside Levi and Erwin brings it over.

The other boy looks up at him and then does a double take. He must recognize Erwin then. Erwin nearly winces. As far as he knows, Levi hasn’t told anyone other than Furlan or Isabel that he’s now living with Erwin, and so Erwin has said nothing to give it away either. He wouldn’t be surprised if the whole school knows by tomorrow.

They have to wait for the other parent to arrive. Either they were already in the area though or the principal refrained from summoning Erwin until he knew the other parent would be arriving, because he gets there only a couple minutes after Erwin.

There were apparently enough witnesses that it’s clear what happened. The other boy was making fun of Levi and some of his friends. Levi told him to “shut the fuck up before I kick your teeth in” and the other boy, who is nearly a foot taller than Levi, only redoubled his efforts, now focused on Levi. Levi punched him. There was a resulting short fight before they were pulled apart.

They are each suspended for a day with additional detentions when they get back. The other parent is not happy that his son is being punished the same amount when Levi is the one who threw the first punch. Erwin lets him argue with the principle, who affirms that bullying is not tolerated any more than fighting is.

Levi is sent home. Erwin has no one else who can pick him up and so also goes home. The car ride is silent except for Erwin’s terse “we’ll talk about this when we get home” as they get in the car. He’d said very little in the principal’s office as well.

When they get home Levi makes a beeline for his room. “Levi,” Erwin says. Levi stops, turns around, barely looks up. Erwin pulls out one of the chairs in the kitchen. Levi slowly walks over and sits down.

“Are you hurt?” Erwin says first. He still hadn’t seen Levi showing any signs of pain, but he wants to make sure. Levi shakes his head though, only glancing up briefly. “Everything they said was true, about what happened?”

Levi pauses, but he nods slowly, shrinking a little more, shoulders hunched, sitting on the edge of the chair.

“Anything you would like to add?” Erwin says. “Anything they didn’t say that did happen?”

Levi shakes his head.

“Levi, do you understand you can’t be fighting like this?” Erwin says, his voice going a little harder now. “It’s not okay. It is never okay to attack someone unless it is in self-defense. I know the boy was bothering you, and what he did was not okay either, but it does not give you license to hurt him, or anyone else. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Levi says. It comes out almost bitter.

“The appropriate action,” Erwin says. “Would have been to either ignore him or tell a teacher. Or you can always come tell me. I’ll always do my best to help. But you cannot be fighting. This is not acceptable behavior, and there are going to be consequences.”

Levi shrinks a little more. He fidgets, pulls at the end of his shirt. And then he speaks in a tiny, soft voice. “Are you gonna use a belt?”

For a split-second Erwin is just confused, and then he realizes exactly what Levi means, and his anger and disappointment turns to blatant shock, followed quickly by pain and sadness. And then back to anger again, this time for Levi’s uncle.

Erwin leans forward in his chair. Levi shrinks back a little and he stops. “Levi,” he says, as calmly as he can. “I am never, _never_ , going to hit you with a belt.”

Levi pauses where he’s been fidgeting, and glances up briefly. There’s a terrible distrust in his eyes, scared and sad.

“I am never going to hit you at all, Levi,” Erwin continues, fighting to keep the anger and shock and pain out of his voice, to be only calm and steady. “I am never going to hit you or kick you or belt you or spank you. I am never going to intentionally physically hurt you, and certainly not ever as a punishment for something, or out of anger. I swear to you, Levi, I will never do that.”

Levi glances briefly up again. “Okay,” he says. Erwin still doesn’t think he completely believes him, but it’s a start.

“There are consequences to your actions though,” Erwin says, back to the tone of voice he had been using before. “For the next week, you are not allowed to have friends over or go to friends’ houses. That means no riding the bus to Furlan and Isabel’s on Monday, no sleepover this Friday, no going anywhere and no having anyone over on Sunday. You can go back to seeing friends outside of school in one week, next Wednesday.

Levi’s eyes go wide for a moment before his brow furrows in anger. “That’s not fair,” he says. “They’re my family, you can’t tell me I can’t see them.”

It’s not the first time he’s referred to Furlan and Isabel as his family. Erwin had hesitated with the punishment, had thought a lot about it, for that very reason. But there was simply not that much he could do to punish Levi. Levi didn’t really watch TV unless Erwin was, didn’t go on the computer or his phone much. He could not let Levi go to his martial arts classes, but they seemed to be helping him adjust and honestly Erwin really didn’t want to keep Levi from attending classes that he had already paid for.

“You will still see them at school,” Erwin says, “you can still stay after school with them to work on homework and you can still call them. You are just not allowed to have people over or go over anyone else’s house for the next week.”

Erwin had decided that this was a good compromise. He didn’t want to cut Levi off from his support system, from the only two people he trusted completely, who knew much more about what Levi had gone through than Erwin did. But he also had to do something, and not allowing meetups with friends he thought reasonable and normal.

“That’s not fair,” Levi says again, fists clenching. He looks like he might cry, and Erwin has to remind himself that this reaction is actually normal, that it’s to be expected that Levi would get upset.

“It’s not okay to be fighting,” Erwin says calmly again. “It’s not okay to hurt other people, no matter what they say to you. These are the consequences.”

Levi’s face screws up and then he runs to his room and slams the door shut.

It is Wednesday, so Erwin takes Levi to his therapy appointment a few hours later. Levi is even more obstinate than usual about going. He says he doesn’t want to, says it’s useless, swears until Erwin tells him that if he doesn’t clean up his language then there will be consequences to that too. After that Levi goes silent, glowering in the back seat.

Erwin waits in the waiting room of the office reading a book, as he always does, during Levi’s appointment. Erwin hasn’t actually gone in with him since the first day. About ten minutes before Levi’s appointment ends, his therapist opens the door and looks out.

“Erwin,” she says, “could you come in a minute?”

Erwin’s stomach sinks again but he gets up quickly. “Of course.”

He walks in and takes a seat on an armchair next to Levi. He looks over at him, but Levi is looking at the ground. His eyes are red and his face blotchy.

The sinking feeling gets worse.

“Levi,” she says, prompting.

Levi fidgets some. His fists tighten but he keeps looking at the ground. “It’s not fair you won’t let me see my friends,” he says angrily to the floor. “You make me come here to this stupid fucking office every fucking week because it’s supposed to help me or some shit, and then you say you’re taking away the one thing that actually helps me feel better.” His voice wavers and he wipes angrily at his eyes. “I wish you’d just hit me instead.”

Levi pauses, hands shaking from some combination of anger and Erwin just sits there for a moment, unsure what to say. He glances at the therapist, looking for some cue as to how to proceed.

“You talk about it like it’s this big fucking deal,” Levi says though, explosively all of a sudden, louder this time. “But Kenny never kept me from my family. Kenny never told me I couldn’t leave. I wish you’d just hit me instead, you talk about it like it’s this awful fucking thing but this is _worse_.”

He voice cracks again and he wipes at his eyes. It’s the first time that Erwin has even heard Levi say Kenny’s name. “Levi,” Erwin says, taken aback and his stomach only sinking more with every word out of Levi’s mouth. “Levi, I’m not trying to keep you from them. I’m not allowing you to go over to play or have them over to play. You can still see them at school, still spend time with them after school in my classroom, can still call them and text Furlan as much as you’d like –”

“That’s not the same,” Levi says. “That’s nothing. I already don’t get to see them at all, when I lived with Kenny we went to Furlan or Isabel’s every day, we waited for the bus everyday, we walked home every day, and we could go to the park or I could sleep at Furlan’s a-and…”

“I don’t think that Erwin realized how different it’s been for you, only seeing them outside of school on Mondays and weekends,” his therapist says. “Since for most kids, seeing their friends every Monday and every weekend would seem like very often. Now that Erwin knows how that’s already been very difficult for you, maybe we can come to an agreement about a different punishment instead.”

_I screwed up,_ Erwin thinks. _Shit._ But he keeps his voice calm. “I’m sorry, Levi,” he says. “I didn’t realize how important it is to you to see them, or that how often you see them now was bothering you.”

Levi wipes at his face again but doesn’t say anything and doesn’t look up.

“Levi,” the therapist says, “what do you think would be an appropriate consequence for fighting?”

“I dunno,” Levi says, shrugging. He tenses up. “You said… you said you wouldn’t take food away…”

And Erwin is, as seems to happen so frequently with Levi, horrified again. And again, he keeps his voice as calm and steady as he can. “Levi, I am never going to take food away from you, as a punishment or as anything else.”

“You take my candy,” Levi mumbles.

“I will sometimes replace unhealthy food with healthier food,” Erwin amends, feeling a little lighter at the comment. “But I will never take away food altogether.”

“I usually recommend,” the therapist says, “that consequences arise as naturally as possible from the instance. So, you were fighting at lunch, right Levi?” Levi nods. “Perhaps you could have lunch in Erwin’s classroom or another quiet place instead of the cafeteria for a week.”

They settle on that, plus Levi will be doing yardwork during his day of suspension. All in all, Erwin finds it has been an exhausting day.

Erwin only notices when Levi stops eating Heath bars.

They have since surpassed kitkats as Levi’s favorite candy, and Erwin always lets him buy one bag of candy when they go grocery shopping and bring three candies in with him to lunch (to be shared) and then one day Levi doesn’t pack them.

“You don’t want to pack any candy?” Erwin says, a little astonished.

“No,” Levi says simply, and packs a banana and a yogurt instead.

And then Erwin notices him eating less at dinner, and at first he is very concerned that Levi’s restricting his eating, until he finds Levi sneaking more yogurt and ice cream and making soup after Erwin’s gone to bed. And then he makes the connection.

“Levi,” Erwin says, the next morning as Levi soaks a waffle in syrup, flattening it with his fork. “Are your teeth bothering you?”

Levi hesitates, and Erwin thinks he’s going to lie, but then he nods.

“Okay,” Erwin says, “I’ll make an appointment at the dentist.”

Levi frowns at him and shifts in his seat. “That’s okay,” he says. “It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“You probably have a cavity,” Erwin says. He is already thinking that he will be calling them about laughing gas, because he doesn’t think there’s any way in hell he could get Levi to sit through that without it becoming a near traumatic affair. “They’ll fix it and then it won’t hurt anymore.”

Levi shifts some more. “No,” he says. “It’s okay. It’ll go away.”

“When’s the last time you saw a dentist?” Erwin says.

Levi says nothing for a long moment. “Never,” he says.

And suddenly things have gotten worse.

Erwin gives Levi Tylenol, makes an appointment with the dentist, and texts Furlan’s mother to ask if it’s alright if Erwin takes him out of school to go with them to the dentist. He wasn’t able to get an afternoon appointment this time. He feels bad taking another kid out of school, but he’s not sure he’ll be able to even get Levi in the car if Furlan isn’t there.

He has only met Furlan’s mother briefly a couple of times. The impression he gets is that she is a kind but overworked and somewhat frazzled woman. He’s met Furlan’s sister a similarly numbered times, also all brief. She’s seventeen and the oldest child, and seems very responsible though Erwin imagines also very stressed.

Furlan’s mother says it’s fine. Erwin is able to schedule an appointment for only two days out and requests laughing gas ahead of time. He tells Levi about the appointment after school that day, but barely gets the first words out before Levi’s talking over him.

“I don’t need to go,” he says. “It doesn’t hurt that much, I don’t need to go.”

“If it’s a cavity,” Erwin says, “then it will only get worse the longer you wait. We need to take a look and see what’s wrong.”

“I don’t need to go,” he says again.

He doesn’t look nearly as scared as he did when Erwin told him about the doctor’s appointment, but he is clearly apprehensive.

“I already talked with Furlan’s mother,” Erwin says instead. “She said he can come with us. I also talked with the dentist, and he’s going to give you laughing gas when we go. Do you know what that is?”

Levi frowns, and shakes his head.

“It’s a medication that you breathe in through a mask,” Erwin says. “It will help make you calm so you’ll stay relaxed even if it seems scary now.”

“Okay,” Levi says, still looking nervous.

“I thought we’d look at some pictures and watch a couple videos so you can see what the dentist office looks like,” Erwin says.

Erwin pulls up the youtube videos he found earlier that day on the computer. Levi watches them carefully.

“I don’t wanna lie down like that,” Levi says when the chair reclines backwards, his expression going almost queasy, looking over at Erwin worriedly.

“The dentist will need you to lie down so they can see your teeth better,” Erwin says. “But if you need a break you can raise your arm or say so and they’ll stop.”

Levi doesn’t look convinced but he keeps watching the video. “They’re gonna stick that stuff in my mouth?” Levi says, eyes widening when it gets to some of the dental tools.

“Yes,” Erwin says calmly. “They use the tools to check your teeth.”

“Is it gonna hurt?” Levi says.

“No,” Erwin says. “Not when they use those tools. You can’t actually feel your teeth. When your teeth hurt, it’s really the nerves underneath your teeth, in your jaw. So even though the tools look scary, when they touch your teeth it won’t hurt. It might be uncomfortable, but it won’t hurt.”

“But it hurts when I chew,” Levi says.

“That’s because the cavity has gotten to the nerve,” Erwin says. “They might touch that tooth a little bit when they start, and it might hurt a little bit when they do, but you just have to tell them and they’ll stop. If you have an actual cavity, they’ll give you a local anesthetic.”

“What’s that?” Levi says.

“It’s a medicine that numbs your mouth, so you don’t feel anything at all. Once they give it to you, you won’t feel any pain. They do have to give it to you with a shot, so –”

“In my _mouth?_ ” Levi says, eyes widening again in horrified disbelief.

“Yes,” Erwin says calmly. “They give you a topical anesthetic first. It will numb the inside of your mouth a little bit, so that the shot doesn’t hurt as much. The laughing gas will help numb the pain a little bit too, and you can take Tylenol again to help. It will probably still hurt, but only for a second, just like any other shot.”

They watch a couple more videos. Levi looks worried but not so clearly afraid as before. The day of the appointment Levi doesn’t protest at all and Erwin’s not sure if it’s because he really isn’t as afraid or if it’s just because his tooth now hurts badly enough that he’s willing to go. It has clearly gotten worse in the past two days.

Furlan holds Levi’s hand in the waiting room again. Levi wipes his other hand on his jeans nervously. When they’re called in Levi walks slowly, looking around at everything. They hear a scream from one of the rooms they pass – a young child, but abrupt enough and loud enough that Levi jumps. He freezes then and looks at Erwin with a frightened expression.

“It’s okay,” Erwin says. “It’s like at the doctor’s. Sometimes kids cry and yell when they get shots, especially little ones.”

Levi does not look convinced, but he follows the hygienist anyway.

Erwin has to sign the paperwork for the laughing gas. Levi sits on a small chair in the corner while he does so.

“Okay, Levi, if you could come sit on the chair here, we’ll get you all set up with the laughing gas,” she says.

Levi looks at her, looks at the chair, and then looks back up at both of them. He shakes his head – a jerky, scared motion, fingers tight in Furlan’s hand on one side and gripping the chair on the other.

“It’s alright,” Erwin says. “It’s only a chair. You don’t even have to lie back yet. They’re just going to give you the laughing gas.”

Levi hesitates, and then Furlan gets up. “Come on,” he says, and Levi reluctantly follows.

He climbs up into the chair, completely tense. Furlan moves to the side, taking Levi’s other hand so that the hygienist can work with the nitrous oxide. She shows Levi the mask first, and tells him she’s just going to fit it for him. Levi flinches when her hand brushes his head.

“It’s okay,” Furlan says, and not for the first time Erwin is very thankful that Levi’s closest friend is also very good at staying calm, or at least appearing calm.

She finishes fitting the mask. “Okay, we’ll start you off with some oxygen. Just breathe normally now.”

Levi’s breathing is fast and shallow, nervous. He’s still holding Furlan’s hand tightly. Erwin once again feels a surge of helplessness. He wishes that he could help more.

“And now I’m going to start giving you the laughing gas,” she says. “You might start feeling a little sleepy, and you might feel a tingling sensation in your legs or arms. That’s all normal.”

She starts. Erwin watches Levi. At first his eyes keep darting around as they have been, but then Erwin sees him start to slow. His body relaxes bit by bit, his fingers uncurling where he’d been gripping his shirt, fingers loosening in Furlan’s hand. His breathing gets deeper.

“Is that better, Levi?” Erwin says.

“Yeah,” Levi says.

Erwin has never had nitrous oxide, but he has had to personally drag Mike to dentist appointments before. He knows that at least with Mike, they give him a high dose that has him near unresponsive. He also knows that’s not the norm though, that it’s meant to be a light sedation.

“Great,” the hygienist says, smiling.

The dentist comes in a minute later. Levi’s eyes follow her as she introduces herself. Erwin had told the receptionist when he called that Levi has never been to a dentist before and that he was nervous. He even mentioned, in an attempt to avoid any similar incidents, that Levi could not be held down in any form and that if he asked for a break it needed to be given to him. Despite this, Erwin reiterates the same again.

“Levi’s never been to see a dentist before,” he says, after introducing himself as Levi’s guardian, “and he’s a little nervous, but I explained that if he needs a break, he just needs to raise his hand or say so and you’ll stop.”

To his relief, the dentist doesn’t seem surprised by his words. “Of course,” she says, and then to Levi. “If anything hurts, or you need to say something while I’m working, then just raise your arm here.”

And then they ask Furlan to go join Erwin by the wall, to make room for both the dentist and the hygienist, and Levi tightens his grip on Furlan’s hand. “No,” he says. His eyes dart around again, and then land on Erwin’s, scared and wide, almost pleading.

“We really need the space, sweetie,” the dentist says.

Levi shakes his head. Furlan offers no help this time, frowning, looking at the dentist and then the hygienist. It appears he doesn’t want to move away either.

“Let me just up the laughing gas a little more,” the hygienist says.

“If it’s possible, I think it would really be helpful if Furlan can stay,” Erwin says.

“I’ll move right here,” Furlan says, moving over so that he’s away from Levi’s head and standing next to his waist instead.

The dentist and hygienist look at each other for a moment, but then the dentist nods. “Alright,” she says. “We’ll need you to be very still though, so that we can work, can you do that?” Furlan nods. They grab a chair for him.

They do x-rays first. This quickly goes downhill.

“It hurts,” Levi says, when they try to get him to bite down on the flat piece needed for the x-ray. He shifts restlessly, looking from one person to the next. They try using a bit of topical anesthetic around his gums on that side. It seems like this helps, and they get the x-rays. But Erwin watches him pale as they take them and he frowns. As soon as the piece comes out of his mouth and they move the x-ray equipment away, he starts trembling.

“Levi?” Erwin says, frowning. He moves his chair forward, is about to reach out to touch Levi’s ankle, but then stops himself.

And he watches as Levi starts to cry.

“It’s alright, Lee,” Furlan says. Erwin gets up and pulls his chair closer. He hesitates again, but then reaches out and puts a hand on his knee. Levi doesn’t move away from him or flinch, so he keeps it there.

“What’s wrong, Levi?” Erwin says. “It’s okay. That part’s all done now.”

Levi doesn’t say anything. Tears move slowly down his face.

“Did you just get a little overwhelmed, sweetie?” the dentist says.

Erwin thinks that’s probably it. He stops crying quickly, and then wipes at his eyes and face, the mask in the way, but he doesn’t try to take it off. Erwin stays with his hand on Levi’s knee until he calms down again. He sees the hygienist fiddle with the nitrous again and assumes she’s giving him more.

Once he’s calmed down the dentist asks if he’s okay to keep going now, and Levi hesitates but says yes. She starts reclining the chair.

Erwin tenses, but Levi doesn’t appear to get any more nervous as he’s put into a lying down position. Erwin watches as the dentist asks him to open his mouth, tells him that she’s going to tap his teeth a bit. This goes fine until Levi suddenly tenses with an abrupt noise of pain. He relaxes again though – Erwin thinks it was more surprise than pain.

He does in fact have a rather large cavity. It’s quite fortunate that he only has one actually, with how he’s never gone before. They reapply a topical and wait for it to take effect, and then tell him to take deep breaths through his nose as they get the Novocain ready. Levi tenses up a little bit but doesn’t get overly scared this time. Erwin thinks his fear isn’t really centered on pain – that it’s more not knowing when to expect pain that bothers him. That and people touching him, doing things to him, or when he feels trapped.

It goes okay for a bit. The drill seems to surprise Levi. Erwin hadn’t shown him any pictures of that, afraid it would scare rather than prepare him. Erwin sees Furlan grimace, but Levi can’t see Furlan’s face with how he’s lying down. The dentist explains what she’s going to do and then starts.

Erwin watches as tension builds slowly in Levi’s body, watches as his legs start to bend, his hands start to clench tighter. Erwin’s not surprised when Levi raises a hand suddenly, nearly hitting the hygienist.

They pause, moving away, and Levi starts trying to sit up. He gets the mask off his face as the dentist and hygienist try to get him to keep it on. He looks straight to Erwin, eyes unfocused, face pale.

“Sweetheart, you should really keep the mask on, it’ll –,” the dentist says, bringing it back towards his face. He flinches from her.

“Don’t touch me,” he says, putting his hands up. The dentist backs off and Levi looks again at Erwin.

“Levi –” Erwin starts, is about to tell him that he should leave the mask on as well, but Levi interrupts him.

“I wanna be done,” he says, rapid and shaky. “Y-you said if I raise my hand, then I can stop, you said they’d _stop_ –” He flinches from the hygienist when she moves again, though she quickly backs off.

“It’s alright, they’ve stopped,” Erwin says, moving forward in his chair again, touching Levi’s knee when he doesn’t flinch from him. “You can have a break. It’s alright.”

Levi shakes his head. “I wanna go home.”

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Erwin says, squeezing his knee gently. “We have to finish up here first.”

“I wanna go home, Erwin, I wanna stop,” Levi says. Tears form in his eyes and Erwin feels his stomach sink.

“Sweetheart –” the dentist says, reaching for him.

Levi flinches violently this time, jerking back into the corner of the chair, hands going up. “Stop fucking _touching me!_ ”

“Levi, hey, Levi, look at me,” Erwin says, as Levi begins hyperventilating, eyes wide and terrified, darting between the dentist and the hygienist, who both appear shocked at how he’d just sworn and yelled, though Erwin pushes the fact out of his mind as he focuses on Levi instead. Things are escalating too quickly and Erwin does not want to make the same mistakes he had at the doctor’s. “Levi, they’re going to give you a break now,” Erwin says. “They’re not going to touch you, they’re going to walk away for a minute now.”

Erwin glances up at the dentist and the hygienist, but thankfully they have taken the hint and both get up from their chairs and move away from Levi. When Levi cranes his neck and looks around to keep his eyes on them, looking like he’s waiting for them to lunge back at him or something, they exchange a look with each other and then both leave the room, back into the hallway. Erwin looks back at Levi, who finally meets his eyes again.

“It’s okay,” Erwin says. “You can have a break. You raised your hand and they stopped. I’m sorry they kept touching you after and scaring you – they didn’t know that would scare you.” Erwin pauses. “Is it okay if I touch your knee like this?” he says.

Levi’s breathing slows a little bit. He nods at Erwin and Erwin relaxes a little too. “Okay,” Erwin says. “Try breathing in deep and slow, it’ll help you feel better.”

“I wanna be done,” Levi says again though. “You said I could stop.”

“We are stopping,” Erwin says calmly. “We’re stopping and taking a break. We can stay stopped until you feel better.”

“I’m not gonna feel better,” Levi says, eyes going glassy with tears again. “I don’t want that stuff in my mouth, I don’t want them to touch me, I don’t want their fingers in my mouth, I don’t want to lie down anymore, I want them to stay away from me, I wanna go home.”

“It’s okay, Levi,” Erwin says. “I know this is hard for you and it’s uncomfortable, but it’s okay. We can’t leave your tooth half done, we have to finish it today so that it’s all set for you, but we can wait until you feel calmer, and we can take more breaks if you need them.”

Levi starts to cry. At first his lip wavers and his eyes scrunch, and then he brings both hands to his face, putting his head down as he lets out a sob. Furlan moves from holding his hand to rubbing his back.

“It’s okay, Lee,” he says. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Erwin wants to hug him, but he can’t do that, so he settles for rubbing a thumb up and down where he holds Levi’s knee gently. He doesn’t know how to make Levi feel better. He waits a few moments, feeling useless as he tries to figure out what to say.

“It’s alright, Levi,” Erwin says, partly because he doesn’t know what else to say, and partly because that is what Furlan is saying, and while Erwin recognizes the flaws of following the lead of a ten-year-old, Furlan seems to be much better at calming Levi down than Erwin is. “We’ll wait until you calm down,” Erwin says. “Everything is okay.”

After a couple minutes of crying and gentle reassurances from both Furlan and Erwin, Levi settles a bit more, wiping at his face, sniffling.

“Levi,” Erwin says, “I know you don’t want to, but if we leave your tooth will start hurting again, and it will only get worse until we come back again. They’re almost finished now. Do you think you can put the mask back on now, and we’ll sit a bit longer while you finish calming down? We don’t have to start yet, we can still keep taking a break, but do you think you can put the mask back on now?”

Levi’s face scrunches and he shakes his head, looking at Furlan.

“It makes you feel better, right? It makes it less scary?” Furlan says. “You’re just sitting there anyway.”

Levi hesitates. “Okay,” he says. “But I don’t want them to come back.” He lifts the mask himself and waits, tensing as he looks at Erwin.

The dentist has gone out of sight but the hygienist is hovering in the hallway still. She nods as Erwin looks back at Levi.

“They won’t come back yet,” Erwin says, “we’ll just keep sitting here.”

Levi puts the mask back on. Erwin watches him relax again.

“That’s great, Levi,” Erwin says. “That’s great, keep taking deep breaths.”

It takes a couple minutes but Levi calms down some more. Erwin waits even longer, tries to come up with the gentlest, most supportive way to get the dentist back in there.

“You okay now, Lee?” Furlan says. “Can they see your teeth again now?”

Levi shakes his head.

“Come on, it’s fine,” Furlan says. “It was okay at first, right? And you’re okay now. If it gets too much again you can just stop again.”

Levi says nothing this time, just looks apprehensively at Furlan.

“Can I tell them it’s okay to come back in?” Erwin says. “Now that you’re feeling a little better, Levi? If you stop feeling better then we can stop again.”

After a long pause, Levi reluctantly agrees. He flinches a little from the dentist and hygienist when they come back in, and he’s a bit jittery, but they manage to get the rest of the appointment through with. They had been almost finished before, so it’s not that much longer.

Afterwards, Erwin takes them back to their house, and Levi and Furlan watch TV for a while. Levi is withdrawn the same way he had been after his doctor’s appointment – very quiet and still – but it’s not nearly as bad. By the end of the night Furlan is teasing him about how funny he looked with the mask on and Levi is scowling back at him, and Erwin takes it as a win.

Levi has been with Erwin for about a month when Erwin fully realizes that Levi is _exceptionally_ athletic.

It starts with the martial arts classes. Levi progresses quickly, and his instructor comments a couple of times to Erwin how impressed he is. Erwin thinks this has to do with his previous fighting, and more or less writes it off as such. Then Erwin watches Levi, Furlan, and Isabel, sometimes along with some of their other friends, play soccer in Erwin’s backyard or the park by the school. Levi is very agile, and clearly much better than everyone else. Erwin asks Levi if he would like to play soccer on a team in the spring and he quickly says yes.

Erwin is going through Levi’s folder, asking him about homework, when he comes across a certificate. He pauses and pulls it out.

“Levi, what’s this?” Erwin says.

“Oh,” Levi says, “I won a race.”

Erwin reads the certificate. Levi has not just “won a race.” Their school is grades K-8, but only 5-8 have physical education testing. Levi’s beaten the school wide record for the 50-yard dash and the shuttle run. As a _fifth grader_.

Erwin hangs the certificate on the fridge. He’s managed to pilfer some of Levi’s drawings which also hang on the fridge. Levi seems to find this practice odd, but Erwin does it anyway.

And then Erwin is grading papers inside, and he knows Levi went outside with the soccer ball (he likes to kick it against the back fence – Erwin is planning on getting him a backstop for Christmas) and Erwin goes to call him back inside to start on homework and can’t find him.

“Levi,” Erwin says, stepping outside. He does not have a big back yard. He quickly starts to panic when he doesn’t immediately see Levi, only his soccer ball sitting on the ground.

“I’m up here.”

Erwin turns around and looks up to see Levi standing on the roof.

“What are you doing up there!” Erwin says. It’s a raised style house, where it’s technically one story but puts Levi over ten feet off the ground up on the roof. His eyes widen as Levi looks down at him. “How did you get up there?”

“I climbed,” Levi say, as if that is the simplest thing in the world.

“What?” Erwin says. “Where?”

“The tree,” Levi says, and points to a large tree, mostly devoid of leaves by now, that hangs partially over the house. But the branches are much higher than where Levi stands. He must have dropped from a branch to the roof, and Erwin doubts he will be able to jump upwards the same length.

“And how were you planning on getting down?” Erwin says.

Levi looks at him, and then he takes a running jump off the roof. Erwin nearly has a heart attack.

“Levi!”

He catches a thick branch a couple feet away from the edge of the roof, body swinging and branch bouncing as he grips it. Erwin then watches as he puts hand over hand along the branch to get closer to the trunk, and climbs the rest of the way down.

They have a discussion about how climbing the tree is okay but jumping off roofs is not.

“We’re going to see a different type of therapist,” Erwin says. “She’s a psychiatrist.”

“Isn’t that a type of doctor?” Levi says suspiciously, suddenly going tense in the back seat. Erwin’s forgone Levi’s usual therapy appointment for one with a psychiatrist this week, around the same time, in an effort to not make a big deal out of it. Erwin nearly winces though. He was hoping to avoid the word “doctor” altogether.

“Sort of,” Erwin says. “But this one is only going to talk to you. She might need to take your blood pressure. That’s it.”

“Why do I have to see her?” Levi says.

“Remember when we went to the dentist and you had laughing gas, and that made you less nervous and the appointment a little easier?” Erwin says.

“Yeah,” Levi says.

“I want to talk to the psychiatrist about a pill that you can take before doctor’s or dentist appointments that will help you stay calm like that.”

It was a suggestion from Levi’s therapist, after Erwin told her about what happened. Erwin had been hesitant. He doesn’t like the idea of putting Levi on medication right now. He’s made very little progress in therapy and Erwin would really like to try that before trying medication. He thinks it may wind up being necessary for his OCD (the only thing he has been actually diagnosed with at this point, though Erwin suspects he may have at least mild depression as well, if not PTSD, but Levi won’t talk about it enough to determine if he does) and Erwin is fine with that, but he really would like to give just therapy a shot first.

Erwin also particularly dislikes the idea of having Levi take benzodiazepines, what would likely be prescribed to him for his fear around doctors and dentists, because they are addictive and sedating, but if Levi’s only taking them a few times a year at most then he doesn’t feel too nervous about it. And he really does not want to keep terrifying Levi with every visit. If it were just that he got nervous while there, if he got scared and cried in the office, then Erwin would be more inclined to try to get him to work on it in therapy, to practice ways to calm down, but the last doctor’s visit had left Levi anxious and withdrawn for _days_. He’s afraid of what will happen if Levi ever needs to go to the hospital or if Furlan can’t come with them. His reactions were inconsistent with a normal childhood fear, or even with a simple phobia of doctors. He’d spoken to Levi’s therapist about it and she was unsure if the fear was really a phobia or if it was PTSD.

So he takes Levi to the psychiatrist, and Levi glares at her from his seat on a couch next to Erwin, while Erwin explains how Levi gets very nervous around doctors and has a hard time calming down afterwards.

Levi says very little, despite the gentle prompting from both the psychiatrist and Erwin. She gives him a prescription for Xanax.

Levi has only been with Erwin a month when Christmas break starts. Erwin is nervous. Levi has yet to meet any of Erwin’s family, or Erwin’s friends for that matter. Mike and Nanaba have already been complaining that he’s turned into a hermit. He hadn’t wanted to rush things with Levi, hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him with too many new things at once. He still hasn’t given his parents an answer as to when and for how long he’ll be at Christmas. And on top of that, it’s Levi’s birthday.

“Levi, what do you want to do for your birthday?” Erwin says a week before Christmas break starts. It’s late at night, almost time for Levi to go to bed. He’s already changed into pajamas, hair damp from the shower. He sits on the couch with his legs drawn up close to him, a pad of paper in his hands and a pack of colored pencils on the couch seat next to him. He shrugs without looking up from his drawing.

“Would you like to have a birthday party?” Erwin says.

Levi shrugs again. “Can’t. It’s Christmas.”

“We could have one the weekend before Christmas,” Erwin says.

Levi pauses and looks up at him. “I can have Furlan and Is over?”

“Sure,” Erwin says, “your other friends too if you want.”

Levi pauses, considers. Most of his friends now know that he lives with Erwin, after Levi got into a fight and the other boy saw Erwin come in. “Okay,” Levi says.

Levi invites Furlan and Isabel, as Erwin knew he would. He also invites Eld, Petra, Gunther, and Oluo. Erwin and Levi go shopping. Levi is not very enthused by any of the decorations, but is very excited about the cake. Erwin’s not surprised. Erwin buys him a couple of books, a soccer backstop, and more paints for his birthday. He buys him a board game and some clothes and a new vacuum for Christmas.

Four days before Christmas, Erwin’s grading papers in his office, the door open, when he hears a very loud crash. He jerks upright, freezing, and then goes down the hall to investigate.

He finds Levi sitting on the floor rubbing his elbow. Behind him, to his left, there is a stool stacked on top of a chair. The kitchen table has been moved over several feet. Another chair is fallen over to his right. There are several large pots, all flipped upside down, in a line across the floor.

Erwin looks across the scene and only grows more confused. “Levi?”

Levi pushes himself to his feet again. Before Erwin can say anything else, he picks up the chair, pushes it back a foot, and then he’s on top of the couch. Erwin opens his mouth but it just stays open like that as Levi takes a running jump from the couch to the chair, only to leap from that first chair to the second in the same movement – he jumps upwards so that his foot comes down on the stool that is stacked on top of the second chair. It shifts with a screech and wobbles dangerously, but Levi only uses it as a platform to propel himself towards the kitchen table. He almost hits his head on the ceiling, jumping the considerable distance from the stool to the table. He lands with a roll, somersaulting across the kitchen table, and hopping down onto one of the pots from there. He jumps from pot to pot just as quickly as he’d jumped between the couch, the chairs, and the table. He finishes by jumping upwards to catch the railing of the staircase, hanging there before hauling himself upwards and over it. He drops to the stairs on the other side, looking at Erwin over the rail, at his height now.

Erwin just stares for a moment. Levi looks back at him with a blank look.

Erwin does not have a very big backyard. But he does have a small shed in that backyard. And inside the small shed is a fair amount of old wood, odds and ends, and power tools.

Levi follows Erwin out to the shed and Erwin starts hauling wood out of it – there are some crates and old two by fours and a couple of benches which have been sitting there for years – left over from the previous owners. Erwin never bothered to clean it out. There’s a couple ladders and old tires.

Levi darts around outside the shed, moving pieces into place, instructing Erwin on where to place the heavier items he can’t drag himself, pointing to where he needs things screwed into place. Together they arrange a makeshift obstacle course that Levi spends the rest of the afternoon jumping around on, until it gets too dark and Erwin has to yell at him to come inside.

Levi scowls at him from where he stands on top of the shed when Erwin calls to him. But he scrambles down again and comes inside, and that night at dinner he smiles, and Erwin can’t help grinning back.

“Mom, I just want you to manage your expectations here,” Erwin says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t anticipate staying very long. I know –”

“Erwin, it is Christmas –”

“Yes, I know that, mother,” Erwin says.

Erwin glances around the corner, making sure Levi still has the door to his room shut and switches the phone to his other hand as he walks farther into the kitchen.

“It’s his first Christmas in foster care,” Erwin says, “and it’s also his birthday, and –”

“It’s his birthday? Erwin, why didn’t you tell me, I would have gotten a cake for him too – you know, I can still –”

“No, mom, it’s alright,” Erwin says. “I’m going to do something small for him here. I don’t think he’ll like being the center of attention among a bunch of strangers.”

“Oh, is he very shy?”

Shy is not really the word Erwin would use, but in lieu of trying to explain Levi’s particular withdrawn manner, Erwin just agrees. “Yes, a bit. I think it would make him very uncomfortable.”

“Well, alright, but still, what time are you arriving then?”

“I plan to be there at four,” Erwin says. “We’ll probably only stay a couple hours. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

“Erwin, you have to at least stay until –”

“I’ll see how he goes,” Erwin says. “If he’s very uncomfortable then I’m not going to make him stay.”

“I’m sure everyone will be very nice to him, Erwin. It was never a problem with Armin. Everyone loved him, they’ll love Levi as well.”

Erwin nearly winces. While he cares a great deal for Levi and does think Levi is a good kid, there is a stark difference between him and Armin. One of the differences being that Armin was friendly and sweet, if a bit shy, while Levi is distrustful and sarcastic, with a biting humor. He’s not entirely sure his relatives will warm up to Levi the same way they did with Armin. On top of it, he’s already gotten a few invasive texts from relatives who have heard he’s fostering another child.

“I don’t expect anyone to be mean to him,” Erwin says. “It’s just – mom, Levi came from a bad situation and I’m afraid he’s going to find the whole thing a little overwhelming. He doesn’t like strangers.”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be just fine,” she says. “You said he’s ten? He’s turning eleven then? He’s right in the middle of Victor’s kids – how old are they now? Twelve and ten?”

“I believe so,” Erwin says. “But mom, I know this will seem odd, but please don’t try to hug him.”

“Don’t try to hug him? Erwin –”

“He doesn’t like to be touched,” Erwin says. “Thank you for understanding, mom.”

“Well, alright,” she says.

His mother segues into the guest list then, and some family drama with his aunt. Erwin is an only child, but he has a rather large extended family of cousins. Erwin normally looks forward to their family holidays, but he’s rather anxious about this one.

They do a small Christmas celebration together on Christmas morning. To Erwin’s surprise, Levi has gotten him a gift. He hadn’t expected it, and Levi must have bought it one day when going to see Furlan and Isabel. Erwin has given him money to buy food or go shopping in some of the stores by the park before when he’s asked. Levi gets him a book on one of Erwin’s favorite historical areas of study. It’s thoughtful and makes Erwin untowardly happy.

“It’s just a book,” Levi mumbles, looking away, but his expression is much softer than normal, and Erwin just smiles more.

“Thank you, Levi,” he says. “I can’t wait to read it.”

They do Levi’s birthday after lunch. Erwin’s made a small cake the night before, which Levi is very surprised at. Then they watch movies together until it’s time to leave for his parents’ house.

Levi picks at the buttons on his shirt. It’s a somewhat formal affair at Erwin’s parents’ house, so Erwin had taken Levi shopping the weekend before for a new outfit.

“We won’t stay too long,” Erwin says as he drives. “And if you want to leave sooner then come tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” Levi says.

The party started at two, but dinner was at five, so Erwin shows up just after four, an appetizer in hand, carrying a bag of gifts as well. He is greeted as soon as he arrives by his mother, followed by his father. Erwin is just about to introduce Levi when his mother turns to him.

“And you must be Levi! It’s so good to meet you, Levi, I’m Erwin’s mother, you can call me Mary.”

“Hi,” Levi says.

He’s standing very close to Erwin, almost behind him. Erwin puts a hand on his shoulder and starts steering them both out of the entryway, handing the bag of gifts to his father.

Everyone wants to meet Levi, and this is, predictably, overwhelming for him. Erwin tries to fend off most of it, and is relieved when his mother intercepts another barrage of relatives by stepping forward and leaning down to Levi’s height.

“Some of the kids are playing outside, Levi, if you’d like to join them,” she says. “Erwin could go introduce you.”

The look Levi shoots him clearly says he is on board with this plan, so they walk outside to where some of Erwin’s youngest cousins are playing on an old swing set. Erwin introduces Levi and then turns to him.

“I’ll be right inside if you need anything,” Erwin says. “I have my phone too if you can’t find me.”

Levi frowns at him. “I don’t need to call you, you’re in the house,” he says.

Erwin smiles, says another goodbye, and goes back inside. He grabs a drink as soon as he gets in and braces himself for the oncoming questions.

Levi stays outside with the other kids until dinner. Erwin glances out the window, checking on him, frequently, but they seem to be getting along. He sees Levi on one of the swings and then sitting in the grass and then playing what looks like an elaborate version of tag. They all get called in at dinner.

“Dad, dad,” Jacob, who if Erwin remembers correctly should be nine now, says as he runs up to his father. “Did you see us outside? Levi beat Ben at racing!”

“Did he?” Mark, one of Erwin’s cousins, says. He looks over to where Levi has come up behind Erwin. “How old are you, Levi?” Mark says.

“Eleven,” Levi says.

Mark raises an eyebrow. Ben is thirteen and quite a good football player, Erwin knows, not to mention at over a foot taller than Levi. Erwin turns to see Ben coming to the table as well, scowling. Mark smiles at him. “I guess you need more practice, Ben.”

Ben’s scowl deepens and Mark and Erwin laugh. “Levi’s actually beaten the school record for two different races,” Erwin says.

“Is that so? Good for you, Levi,” someone else says.

“Do you play any sports, Levi?” Mark says.

“I like soccer,” Levi says. “Erwin takes me to martial arts.”

“We’re going to sign him up for soccer in the spring,” Erwin says.

“Martial arts! You should show us some moves,” Erwin’s cousin Jess says.

“There’s no mats and stuff,” Levi says.

“There’s mats in the home gym,” she says, gesturing down the hall. “What are you learning right now?”

“Flipping people,” Levi says.

“That sounds fun,” Jess says, “why don’t you give us a demonstration?”

Erwin frowns. He’s not sure this is a good idea.

“Jacob, how would you like to be Levi’s partner?” Jess says.

Levi looks doubtfully over at him. He shakes his head. “He’s too small. I’ll hurt him.” He points at Ben. “I could flip him.”

Jess’s eyes widen and she looks over at Erwin. Jacob is about the same size as Levi. Ben is much taller. Erwin’s also seen Levi perform the move he’s talking about and knows that Levi is perfectly capable of doing it on anyone even near his size without hurting them. Erwin looks at Levi pointedly and Levi gives him a purposefully innocent look back.

“Well, there you go Ben,” Mark says.

“No way,” Ben says. “You’re tiny.”

Levi frowns. Well, that’s settled it, Erwin thinks. “Levi,” he says, “go easy.”

Levi looks back at him, then smiles.

“What do you mean, go easy?” Ben says. “Alright, fine.” He gets up from his seat. “Come on then, let’s do it.”

He starts leading the way to the exercise room, which has a padded mat section. They drag it into the center of the room, away from the other equipment. Erwin, Jess, Mark, and Jacob go after them to watch. A couple of other people stand by the door as well.

“What am I supposed to do?” Ben says.

Levi shrugs. “You can try to punch me.”

“I’m not gonna punch you,” Ben says. He shoots a look at his father, some mix of incredulous and confused.

“You won’t hit me,” Levi says.

Ben narrows his eyes at Levi then. “You’re gonna get beat up you talk to other people like that.”

“It’s alright,” Erwin says. “Levi will duck.”

Ben gives Erwin a doubtful look. He turns back and takes a half-hearted swing at Levi.

Levi ducks, steps under the blow, and uses Ben’s momentum against him, flipping him onto his back on the mat. He drops onto Ben’s chest in the same motion, pinning him, and raises a fist up, as if to punch him. He holds it there for a second, ending the move, and then relaxes again. He gets up off of Ben as Ben stares with more incredulity, first at Levi, and then over at Erwin and his father.

“Wow,” Mark says.

“Alright, come on, I’m ready now,” Ben says, getting up. He narrows his eyes again. Levi steps in front of him.

Ben throws a real punch this time – not as hard as he can, Erwin thinks, but it’s a real punch. Levi dodges it just as easily. This time Ben is expecting the move, and goes to block Levi. Instead of following through the same way, Levi trips him, sending him off balance.

A second later and Ben’s on his back again, Levi again poised above him with a fist raised.

“What the hell,” Ben says, getting up. Erwin frowns at the language. Mark apparently doesn’t care. “Okay, one more time,” Ben says.

“You don’t need to hold back,” Levi says. “You won’t hit me.”

There’s just a bit of a smirk to Levi’s face. Ben looks over at Erwin and Mark again. “Go for it,” Erwin says before Mark can say anything.

Ben throws a few punches and Levi dodges them all and then knees Ben in the stomach. He pulls the move, barely touches Ben with it, but he clearly could have delivered a very solid hit if he had wanted to. He doesn’t flip Ben this time. Ben tries to essentially tackle Levi to the ground and it ends with Levi’s legs wrapped around Ben’s neck.

Mark claps. “Wow, Levi,” he says. “I’d love to see you in a real fight.”

Erwin frowns and turns back to him. “Levi does not need to get into real fights,” he says.

Mark laughs. “Of course. Maybe when you’re older you could try some competitions.”

Erwin still frowns. He’s not sure how he feels about that. Levi would probably enjoy it, would definitely be good at it, but Erwin doesn’t really like the idea.

“Erwin says I can’t get in fights,” Levi says. He side-eyes Erwin, just the smallest bit of a glare. “And my teacher says we can’t flip people and stuff outside of class.”

“Your teacher is correct,” Erwin says.

“But I just did,” Levi says, pointing at Ben.

“In practice. With his consent,” Erwin says.

Levi’s eyes narrow. “Okay.”

“Not in school,” Erwin adds quickly. He can just see Levi goading someone into agreeing the next time he’s angry at someone, and then another trip to the principal’s office.

Levi scowls at him. He had apparently been thinking the same thing.

All in all, Christmas goes much better than Erwin expected. They still leave fairly early because Erwin’s not willing to press his luck, but it seems like Levi had a good time.

Levi continues adjusting. He gets a little more comfortable around Erwin, stops flinching away from him, is more receptive to the careful pats and hugs that Erwin gives. Erwin starts picking up Furlan and Isabel after Levi’s therapy sessions on Wednesdays, and they go out for ice-cream or to eat. Getting to see his friends like this in the middle of the week seems to help his mood, and he’s less combative about going to therapy when he knows he’ll get to see them afterwards. He’s still not making much progress with it though. His therapist has assured Erwin that Levi does seem to be opening up a bit, but that doesn’t really mean they’re making progress on his wellbeing. It’s more that he’s not acting as obstinate or distrustful, that he’ll talk to her a bit about school and his week now.

Erwin thinks that Levi’s feeling a bit better now though. He seems more engaged and he smiles more. Erwin knows it will be a long road, but he’s very glad Levi’s doing better. About two months after Levi moved in with him, Erwin decides that it’s time for Levi to meet some of his friends. He starts with Hange, who he has grown rather close with over the several months she’s been working at the school. He starts with Hange, and her boyfriend Moblit, because Levi already knows Hange, has her as a teacher, so Erwin thinks it will be easier.

It goes well. Erwin has them over for dinner. Despite Levi’s sarcastic manner, Erwin thinks he likes Hange. Moblit is quiet and friendly and while at first Levi looks a little skittish around him, that disappears quickly. The whole dinner goes well enough that a week later Erwin invites Mike and Nanaba over.

This does not go well.

Levi says nothing about it when Erwin mentions that he will be inviting them over, but when they actually do show up, Levi spends the entire night glaring at Mike. He is rude and biting towards him. He’s distrustful and defensive towards Nanaba as well, but not to the same degree. They don’t talk about Levi going into foster care, but it’s clear to Erwin that that is why Levi is acting the way he is. Erwin should have realized, he thinks afterwards, that this would happen. Mike was the one to take him to the hospital, was the one who took him to the emergency foster care home as well.

Mike and Nanaba don’t stay very long, and as they leave Erwin walks them to the door. It’s been a tense dinner, and he’s going to apologize for Levi’s behavior, but Mike puts a hand on his shoulder and gives him a sympathetic look. “It’ll take time,” Mike says.

Erwin lets out a breath, and Nanaba gives him a similar soft smile. Erwin thanks them for coming over and says his goodbyes. Afterwards, he turns back to the living room, where Levi is sitting on the couch still glaring.

Erwin walks over and sits down across from him. “Levi,” he says calmly, “you were very rude tonight, and I’d like an explanation.”

Levi’s face screws up. “I don’t like them. I don’t have to be nice to people I don’t like.”

“You do have to be civil though,” Erwin says. “Why don’t you like them?”

“I hate Mike,” he says.

“Why do you hate him?” Erwin says.

“He’s mean.”

“Why do you say that?” Erwin says.

Levi looks away, his face angry and his arms crossed. “He left me at that filthy house, and he didn’t let me see Furlan, and - and he said the doctors wouldn’t hurt me but they did. They wouldn't stop touching me and it hurt.”

“I know the hospital was really difficult for you,” Erwin says. “And I’m really sorry it was scary and it hurt when they cleaned your leg. Mike only took you because you needed medical treatment, and I know it was really scary and overwhelming, but the doctors were only trying to help you. Sometimes it hurts a bit when we get medical treatment. I know that’s really difficult, and this doesn’t change that, but the doctors do want to help you, Levi, not hurt you.”

Levi’s arms tighten around himself. “Well they did,” he says. “I hate them.”

“I’m sorry it hurt and was so scary,” Erwin says. He pauses. “Can you tell me why you hated the house so much? The one Mike brought you to?”

“It was filthy,” Levi says. “There was stuff everywhere, and they never did the dishes, and I couldn’t clean it all. They yelled at me when I used the vacuum. It was gross and they were mean and the other kids made messes _everywhere_ , and they – they didn’t do anything about it. And they took my phone and wouldn’t let me see Furlan or Isabel. And I didn’t know what was happening, and they wouldn’t tell me when I could leave, and I didn’t know – I didn’t know if you’d really take me, or if I’d have to stay there forever, and – and –”

Erwin moves over and hugs Levi. Levi turns into it, brings his head down on Erwin’s shirt. He shakes and sniffles.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Erwin says. “That sounds very scary and overwhelming, and you were very brave. I promise I was working as quickly as possible to get you here.” Levi sniffles some more, and then moves back again.

“Why did I have to go there?” Levi says. “Why’d he leave me there? It was awful and he left me there.”

“I wasn’t set up for you to come with me,” Erwin says. “I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but there’s a lot of paperwork that has to happen before a child can be placed with you. It’s to keep you safe, to make sure that the person or family that kids are placed with are good people, and that the kids will be safe and well there.”

“Then why were _they_ allowed to have kids?” Levi says. “It was awful. They were mean.”

“I know you felt that way,” Erwin says, “but I think there are other kids who would not feel that way. It wasn’t a good place for you to be, and that’s why you didn’t stay there, but I think it’s probably a good place for other kids.”

“Why did they not have to do the paperwork?” Levi says.

“They already did,” Erwin says. “They did paperwork already to take in kids like you, who need a place to stay for a short while before they’re placed with someone else.”

Levi nods a little. “Okay,” he says. He pauses. “It’s stupid though. That’s a stupid way to do things.”

Erwin smiles. “I rather agree with you, Levi, but it’s not something I can change, and there are reasons for it.”

“Hm,” Levi says.

“And I know it felt like Mike was being mean,” Erwin says, “but he did work very hard to get you placed with me. He didn’t want to leave you there for any longer than necessary either. Him and Nanaba both worked very hard to get you placed with me. I know it felt like a very long time, and it was very difficult for you, but it usually takes much longer actually. They knew that you would be happier out of there, so they worked very hard to make that happen.”

Levi’s expression changes a bit, and he looks down, nods, then looks back up again. “I still don’t like him,” he says.

Erwin smiles. “That’s okay,” Erwin says. “And I know you didn’t like having him over tonight, but he is my friend, and I expect you not to be rude to him or Nanaba in the future, okay?”

Levi bites his lip. “Okay,” he says.

Erwin and Levi go to Mike and Nanaba’s house the next week. Erwin has Levi pack a backpack with his pencils and paper and a book and tells him that he doesn’t have to hang out with them, but he does need to have dinner with them and be civil.

Mike and Nanaba have a two-year-old daughter, Rose. Before Levi moved in with him, Erwin had been getting together with them once a week. He’d like to restart the tradition now that Levi’s more settled, but he’ll have to see how this dinner goes. He’s optimistic Levi will have a better attitude this time.

Levi does behave better during dinner. He’s not exactly friendly, but he’s not straightforwardly rude either. Erwin will take it. He knows Levi still associates some negative feelings and experiences with Mike, and Erwin thinks it will take time before Levi trusts him. As soon as dinner is over, Levi retreats to one side of the living room and pulls out his pencils and starts drawing, ignoring the rest of them.

Erwin’s okay with this. He talks with Mike and Nanaba and it’s very nice just to catch up and have a conversation. Rose sits on Mike’s knee for a bit, then plays on the rug, and ends up toddling over to Levi, looking down at his pencils.

Erwin watches curiously. Levi ignores her at first, and then Rose starts grabbing at his pencils. Levi looks up, an annoyed, affronted look on his face. He goes back to drawing though, and when he wants a color that Rose has, he takes it from her hand and gives her another one instead.

Erwin is pleasantly surprised when Levi gives Rose a piece of paper, lets her scribble over it, and talks to her when she babbles at him. He winds up playing with some blocks with her.

It goes quite well, Erwin thinks.


	4. Listen Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has to take a trip to urgent care.
> 
> (But first he plays soccer, meets Eren and co, and continues to exasperate Erwin.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *TW note the added tags injury etc

With the (relative) success of their visit with Mike and Nanaba, Erwin decides to take yet another step forward. He decides to invite Armin and his grandfather over for a meal on Sunday afternoon.

Erwin has kept in contact with Armin since he started living again with his grandfather, but had mainly put that on hold while Levi was adjusting. Armin had only lived with Erwin for about three months, before his grandfather was well enough to take care of him again, but Erwin had grown very fond of him during that time. Erwin’s very grateful that Armin’s grandfather was able to recover so completely, but it was touch and go for a while and it really wasn’t clear if it was going to be a short or long term placement. It was a bittersweet goodbye when Erwin dropped Armin back off at his grandfather’s house, and Erwin had made an effort to drop by and babysit on occasion. They’ve only talked on the phone for the last month or so.

Armin is eight, in second grade. Erwin tells Levi that he’s invited him, and pays much more attention to Levi’s reactions this time.

Levi looks up from where he’s reading a book, lying on his stomach on the floor. It’s some series which he and his friends have gotten into. Farlan has been flying through them and handing them off to Levi as he finishes, who in turn gives them to Isabel when he’s finished. They’ve apparently gotten Petra into them as well.

“He was the other kid?” Levi says. “Before me?”

“Yes,” Erwin says. “He lived with me for about three months, until his grandfather could take care of him again.”

Levi looks back at him. “Until his grandfather could take care of him?”

“Yes,” Erwin says. “He was very sick for a while, but he’s better now.”

Levi’s brow furrows a little bit. “Is that what’s gonna happen to me? I’m gonna stay with you until Kenny can take care of me again?”

Erwin tries to keep the surprise out of his expression, to keep the shock and burgeoning nervousness out of his expression and his tone. “No,” Erwin says carefully, keeping his tone neutral, “it’s a little different for you. Armin’s grandfather got very sick, so he was in the hospital and couldn’t take care of him. Once his grandfather was healthy again, and could take care of him again, Armin went back to living with him. You weren’t safe with Kenny. If you could be safe with Kenny, then you would live with him again, but we – Mike and Nanaba, and the people at social services who make sure kids are safe – they’d have to be sure that you would be safe with Kenny.”

Levi looks back down at his book, but his eyes are focused somewhere beyond the page, his brow furrowed a little more.

“Do you want Kenny to take care of you again?” Erwin says.

Levi’s fingers go tighter on the edge of the book. He moves his elbows a little, where he’s been leaning up on them. “I don’t like his friends,” Levi says.

Erwin nods, then waits. “And Kenny?” he says after a bit.

Levi looks up again. “Farlan hates him,” Levi says. “And Isabel too.”

Erwin nods again. “Your friends care about you a lot,” he says.

Levi looks down and bites at his lip. “I’m not supposed to like him,” he says.

“There’s no rules to how you should feel,” Erwin says.

Levi huffs and when he looks up it’s with something sharper. “That’s not true,” he says. “I’m supposed to me mad at him. I’m not _stupid_ – you can say that all you want but you hate him. The stupid shrink hates him. Farlan and Isabel hate him. Those doctors and Mike and everyone – I’m supposed to be mad at him, I’m supposed to hate him.”

“I meant what I said,” Erwin says, “there’s no right or wrong way to feel, Levi. If you don’t hate him, that’s okay. It’s okay if a part of you misses him.”

Levi’s fingers curl on the book, and then he looks away, and Erwin is entirely unprepared for what comes out of his mouth.

“I miss my mom,” Levi says.

Erwin has never heard Levi mention his mother. He knows from Levi’s file that his mother died when he was seven, at which point Kenny took him in. No other relatives tried to claim him, and Mike was unable to locate anyone.

Erwin leaves the couch to sit down on the floor, in front of Levi. Levi who is looking down, at the space in front of his book, as he lets go of one side and the spine of the book propels it closed with a quiet noise.

“Does Kenny remind you of your mom?” Erwin says.

Levi doesn’t answer. “He’s nice sometimes,” he says. “He got me a phone for my birthday last year, and he lets me sit on him and steer the car sometimes. He used to come over to see me and my mom… he always brought me something.”

Levi sits up, until he’s kneeling. His bottom lip wavers, and then his face scrunches. “When my mom got sick… she called him. She wanted me to go with him… she didn’t get better, like Armin’s grandpa.”

“Levi,” Erwin says, “your mom would want you safe – she’d want you safe and happy, no matter what.”

Levi sniffs. “She loved Kenny,” he says.

“She loved you most,” Erwin says. “Whatever you feel is okay, Levi. You don’t have to love him because she did, and you don’t have to hate him because other people do. It’s okay if you both love and hate him. It’s okay if you don’t feel either.”

Levi keeps looking down, and then he glances up and his eyes are big, pale and sad. There’s something aching in them, something that Erwin never wants to see in them again, something that shouldn’t be in the eyes of a child. “I don’t want to hate him,” Levi says.

“You don’t have to,” Erwin says. “But it’s okay if you do.” Erwin waits, and Levi looks away again, at the ground. He looks so young like this, small on the floor of the living room. “Levi, can I hug you?” Erwin says.

Levi looks up again, and then he moves, shifting forward, arms open, and Erwin pulls him in. Levi presses his face down, against Erwin’s chest, and Erwin wraps his arms around him, one hand rubbing his back. He says nothing, just keeps hugging him and keeps rubbing his back until Levi moves away. His eyes and face are a bit red, and he sniffles again.

“Can I have some ice cream?” Levi says.

Erwin smiles. “Yes,” he says.

Erwin gets them both ice cream, and then they sit on the couch together, Levi right next to him this time, as they watch a movie. Levi falls asleep on the couch, leaning against him.

Levi appraises Armin with an almost suspicious air. When Armin and his grandfather arrived, Armin had run to Erwin, who scooped him up for a hug before putting him down again. And then Armin had stared over at Levi where he stood in the living room, having gotten off the couch at the sound of the doorbell.

Erwin introduces them, and Levi gives a flat “hello.” He then proceeds to ignore Armin and go back to reading his book.

Erwin doesn’t try to force more interaction. He sits at the kitchen table with Armin’s grandfather instead, while Armin talks animatedly about school and his friends and the books he’s been reading. Erwin starts on dinner, and nods along as Armin chatters. His grandfather is a quiet man and doesn’t say much while Armin talks. He seems content to sit and listen. Erwin calls Levi over when the food is done.

Armin sees the books Levi’s reading when Levi brings it over to the table with him, and points excitedly. “I love those books! Which one are you on?” Armin says.

Levi looks affronted by this. “Aren’t you in like kindergarten or something?” he says.

“I’m in second grade,” Armin says, frowning only momentarily before pointing to the book again. “My favorite is the fourth one.”

“Armin is a pretty advanced reader,” Erwin says when Levi gives him a questioning look. They’re probably grade level for Levi.

They wind up having a bit of a stilted conversation over dinner. Levi is still sarcastic and snipy, and Armin is a bit thrown off by this at first, but eventually seems to just go with it. Overall they have a pleasant evening, and Erwin enjoys getting the opportunity to catch up with and to see Armin.

They are at the park two weeks later, on a surprisingly warm day for January, Levi and Farlan and Isabel bundled in hats and coats but running around kicking a soccer ball anyway. They’d decided to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather to be outside. Erwin has hot cocoa in a thermos waiting for when they’re done, sitting on a bench there.

To his surprise, Erwin sees Armin, Eren, and Mikasa come running over. Erwin looks over and sees Carla Jeager, who he met previously when Armin had a few playdates with his friends. She waves to him when she sees him, and Erwin waves back at her. She makes her way over and sits next to him and they exchange a quick greeting.

They both watch the kids though as they talk, and Erwin’s curious to see what happens. They’re close enough and it’s quiet enough at the park today that he can hear what they’re saying.

“This is Levi – he lives with Erwin now, like I did,” Armin says, gesturing at him.

“I’m Eren!” Eren says quickly. “I’m eight.”

“Levi,” Levi says, looking him and then Mikasa over.

“I’m Isabel!” Isabel says, and then Furlan introduces himself as well.

“Can we play with you?” Eren says.

“No,” Levi says.

Erwin sighs. He’s never been under the illusion that Levi is a _friendly_ kid per se, but he was hoping for a bit more.

Eren’s expression changes in an instant, a stubborn frown. “Why not? Why can’t we play too?”

“You’re too little. You’ll just get in the way,” Levi says.

Eren puffs out his chest. “No we’re not! We’re all eight, we’re not little!”

“That’s little, brat,” Levi says.

Erwin sighs again. Carla gives him an amused look. “Not a very sociable one then?” she says.

“Not particularly,” Erwin says. “He’s a good kid, but sociability is not his strength.”

“At least let them try, Levi,” Furlan says. “Besides, we have enough people to make teams this way.”

Levi huffs. “Fine,” he says.

Erwin watches while they start to play, designating makeshift goals with sticks and mittens thrown on the ground. They play for a while, until they seem to get bored of this and they all migrate over to the playground area instead. Levi swings himself up to sit on top of the monkey bars, while Eren, Armin, and Isabel run up and down the structure to the slides. Mikasa takes a swing, and Furlan climbs the equipment near Levi.

“Do you mind watching the kids for a few minutes?” Carla says, rubbing her hands together. “I’m just going to pop over and grab a coffee.”

“Sure,” Erwin says, and she gives a thanks and heads off.

When Erwin looks back, he doesn’t immediately see Armin or Eren, and frowns. He catches sight of them across the playground though, some of the structures obscuring his vision, though he can see enough to know it’s them. He starts to frown as he sees Levi watching them from atop the monkey bars, then swing down and head over.

There are a few other children playing, and Erwin sees at least one other over near Eren and Armin. Armin comes into view fully then, as he falls backwards, landing roughly on the ground. He hears yelling next, though he can’t make out the words.

Erwin stands up, the frown on his face deepening. He walks towards the playground area, going around to the other side – just in time to see Levi throw another boy to the ground.

“Levi!” Erwin says, his pace quickening. Eren helps Armin up off the ground as the other kids go running over, Mikasa sprinting while Furlan moves slower, climbing down. Levi has a grip on the front of the other boy’s jacket and Erwin starts to hear him as he gets closer.

“ – so you better fuck off before I punch your shitty crooked teeth in you little –”

“Levi,” Erwin says sharply.

Levi freezes and looks up, a deer in the headlights, faked innocence expression. He drops the boy, who gets up and then scrambles away.

“Levi, we have talked about fighting,” Erwin says with a severe look. Levi glances away, looking sheepish.

“Mr. Erwin, but that boy pushed Armin!” Eren says, tugging at Erwin’s arm and pointing over. “He’s a bully!”

Erwin sighs. “I’m glad Levi was protecting his friends, but –”

“We’re not friends,” Levi says.

“Fine, I’m glad you were protecting your acquaintances,” Erwin says, “but it’s not an excuse for threatening and hurting others.”

Eren frowns at him. “But he was gonna hurt Armin! I won’t let anyone hurt my friends.”

“It was okay to push him away. It was not okay to throw him onto the ground and start threatening him,” Erwin says, feeling a headache start.

“But Levi doesn’t have to go home, right?” Eren says, his eyes big. “It’s not fair! He was helping Armin.”

Armin looks up at Erwin with wide eyes and Erwin’s expression softens. He crouches so he’s at his height and gives his arm a squeeze. “Are you alright, Armin?”

Armin nods. He rubs his elbow. “I’m okay,” he says. He glances up and at Levi, who’s expression has gone neutral. “The other boy really did push me first. Levi was only acting in self-defense,” he says resolutely, then falters. “Or, at least in my defense. But that counts the same as self-defense too.”

“Yes, okay,” Erwin says.

He lets it go, and walks away to go back to the bench, just as Carla gets back. He reiterates the incident and Carla only laughs at Eren’s antics. Erwin can’t help but lose his anger as he watches Eren trail after Levi on the playground afterwards, pestering him it seems. Erwin smiles, and actually, it’s endearing, how Levi keeps glaring at Eren while Eren seems wholly undeterred by this, continuing to badger and follow him around for the rest of the time they’re there.

Afterwards, when it’s just him and Levi in the car, Erwin looks at him in the rearview mirror. “I am proud of you for sticking up for Armin,” Erwin says.

Levi looks away. “The other kid was being a jerk,” he says. “They’re just little kids.”

Erwin smiles. “Yes, but it was very good of you to help. Just –”

“Yeah, I know, no fighting,” Levi says with a huff. “I didn’t really hurt him,” he says.

“I’m proud of you for that t–” Erwin says.

“Even if he _deserved_ it,” Levi says.

Erwin sighs.

On March 3rd, Erwin drives Levi and Farlan to the soccer fields on the edge of town. Levi is wearing the brand-new cleats and shin guards and socks that Erwin bought him last week, and Farlan is wearing his brothers’ hand-me-downs. It will be both of their first time playing on a real team. When Levi told Farlan about how Erwin had signed him up, Farlan had badgered his mother about it until she relented. Erwin offered to drive them both to practices.

As soon as Erwin pulls into a parking spot and stops the car, Farlan is jumping out of it. Levi quickly follows.

“Thanks Mr. Smith!” Farlan yells as he runs towards the group collecting on the closest field. Erwin makes out Eld and Gunther already there.

Erwin opts to stay to watch the first practice, despite how he sees a couple of the parents just dropping the kids off. He wants to see how Levi gets on. He’s a bit nervous, if he’s completely honest with himself. Though he shouldn’t be, really. Levi is friends with several members of the team already, and he has Farlan as well. He likes soccer a lot, and he’s very good at it.

Technically, this first practice is for “try-outs” though Erwin knows that the ten and eleven year old team doesn’t make any cuts. Still, it seems the coaches are trying to assess everyone’s abilities. It’s a traveling team, a step above the more relaxed rec league. Rec soccer is in the fall though, and anyway, Erwin has a hunch that Levi might enjoy the more competitive league better.

Dressed in his official uniform jersey and matching socks with his still-shiny cleats, Erwin cannot get over how adorable Levi looks for his first game.

Levi scowls at him when Erwin tries to take a picture. Erwin takes it anyway.

Levi is very, very good at soccer. Erwin knew he was good, but watching him on the field, in a real game, is different. Levi’s fast. His footwork is enough to get around most others when he has the ball. His passes and shots at goal are precise.

Over the course of the next month, Erwin gets to know some of the other parents. He attends all of the games, and occasionally sticks around for practice too, generally with some paperwork or a book then. He brings his folding chair and sets it up on the spectators’ side of the field.

“You’re Levi and Farlan’s dad, right?” one of the other parent’s says to him, after introducing himself at the start of their second official game.

“Just Levi’s actually,” Erwin says. He never quite knows if he should tack on that he’s a foster father. It’s not a secret, and it can make conversations easier at times, especially since Levi hasn’t been with him for very long. But he hates the feeling of it needing a correction. He doesn’t want it to sound like he’s trying to downplay their relationship.

“Oh, really?” he says. “I’ve seen you dropping off and picking them both up, that’s all, sorry about that. I wouldn’t have guessed though – Farlan sure looks a lot more like you.”

Erwin forces back a grimace. The man is smiling, seems friendly. Erwin’s seen him before, just not spoken with him. “Actually, Levi’s my foster son,” Erwin says.

The man’s eyes go wide but he just smiles some more. “Oh, I see. That makes a lot of sense actually – I was going to ask you if you’re from out of town, because I’ve never seen Levi in any of the rec leagues.”

“I don’t think he’s ever played on a real team before,” Erwin says. “He’s enjoying it.”

Erwin wouldn’t quite call Levi reckless per se, but he is… adventurous.

Alright, maybe reckless wasn’t such a horrible description.

Levi hisses as Erwin dabs at his scraped knee. Erwin applies ointment and a large band-aid over it, before he moves to Levi’s elbow. After that it’s his hand. Levi clenches and unclenches his fingers afterwards, watching the band-aid against his palm move. Farlan and Isabel sit across the table drinking some juice.

The three of them had been riding bikes around the neighborhood. That in itself was fine – it’s a very safe area with little traffic and they were staying mostly on the sidewalks anyway (with helmets). Then they had gotten some of the plywood and blocks of wood out of Erwin’s shed to make a bike ramp of sorts. Also not really a problem, though Erwin would have liked to have been asked first. And then Levi apparently decided to try to launch himself via the ramp onto a cement retaining wall. Erwin’s honestly just glad he didn’t break something.

“Alright, that should be good,” Erwin says. He clicks the first-aid kit shut.

It’s certainly not the first time that Levi’s tried something almost guaranteed to get himself injured, and Erwin knows it won’t be the last. The problem, really, is that Levi is astoundingly well-coordinated for a child, so most of the time when he tries things that Erwin would absolutely deem too likely to lead to injury, he winds up perfectly fine.

Alas, it’s not always the case.

Erwin is outside doing some yardwork on a Saturday morning, Levi and his friends inside, when Farlan throws the backdoor open and his voice rings out, loud and fearful.

“Mr. Smith!” he says.

Erwin turns around, sees the look on Farlan’s face, and heads inside.

When he sees Levi next to the sink, shaking and crying, he thinks this is it – he’s finally broken something. Levi never cries when he gets hurt. He’ll hiss and complain when Erwin patches him up, will let out a yelp and curse when he actually hurts himself, but he never cries.

Isabel stands next to him, one hand on his back, the other on his shoulder, looking just as worried as Farlan. Erwin makes his way over quickly. Levi has his hand thrust forward in the sink, water running over it.

“What happened?” Erwin says, looking into the sink. There’s a large splotch on Levi’s arm, red skin. He looks back over at Farlan, who grimaces at him, and that’s when Erwin’s eyes fall on the table, just as he registers the faint smell of something burning.

And that is when Erwin sees, behind Farlan on the table, a metal backing sheet, what looks like globs of melted plastic, and –

“Is that a blow torch?” Erwin looks back at Levi’s arm in the sink. It’s a burn, he realizes. He looks a little closer, but on first glance it doesn’t look too bad. He’s sure it’s painful, but it doesn’t look like they’ll need a doctor. “Why on earth do you have a blow torch? Where on earth did you _get_ a blow torch?” he says, even as he puts a hand on Levi’s shoulder, leaning down to get a closer look at the wound. He doesn’t wait for a response though. He’s learned to patch up injuries first and ask questions after, now more than ever as Levi sniffles and holds back tears. “I’m going to get some burn cream from the first aid kit, okay, Levi? Just keep your arm under the water, it’ll stop hurting so much soon, I promise.”

Erwin gets the first aid kit. When he comes back Levi is wiping at his face and Farlan is leaning over the kitchen sink, looking at his arm too.

“It doesn’t look bad,” Farlan says.

Levi sniffs. “It hurts,” he says quietly.

“Burns can be very painful,” Erwin says, “but I have some cream that will help, and we’ll get it all wrapped up for you. You’ll be just fine, Levi.” He walks over to put a hand on Levi’s shoulder again. “I’ll get you some Tylenol and when you’re ready just come sit down and I’ll get the cream for you.”

“Hurts more without the water,” Levi says.

“Why don’t you stay there for a couple more minutes then,” Erwin says, “and when you’re ready I’ll put the cream on fast.”

Erwin gets Levi a glass of water and the children’s Tylenol. After a couple minutes, Levi shuts the water off. He sits down in front of Erwin, holding his arm out. Erwin dabs at it with a paper towel and Levi winces and whines, looking away.

“Almost done, just have to dry it a bit,” Erwin says. “There, all done.”

He smooths the cream over his arm next, and Levi relaxes a little. He wraps it up in soft gauze, and then pushes the glass of water towards him. Levi takes the pills.

Erwin almost misses it when Farlan starts edging the materials on the table over to the corner, where his backpack lies. Erwin looks sharply over and Farlan freezes. On closer inspection there are a handful of plastic dolls, containers, and what looks like game tokens of some kind, several of them mangled into melted combinations. They’ve been shaped though – it’s not just a mess of plastic, but careful shapes. There’s a couple of metal butter knives and even some metal cookie cutters that Erwin’s never seen before.

And of course, the mini blow torch.

Erwin looks at all three of them. Isabel stares back at him with wide eyes and a blank look of innocence and Levi gives a similar mask. Farlan cringes and doesn’t manage to hide the guilty look on his face nearly as well.

“Someone had better explain to me what is going on,” Erwin says. “Why do you have a blow torch?”

No one says anything. Farlan’s guilty expression intensifies. Isabel glances at Levi though, then quickly back. Erwin looks over at him. Levi stares back, face blank.

“Levi?” Erwin says. “Where did you get this?”

Levi looks away. He shrinks a little, pausing another moment. “I found it in the cabinet.”

“What?” Erwin says. He’s sure he didn’t store a small blow torch in his kitchen cabinets.

Levi points to one of the high ones, above the stove, which Erwin does not use for anything but storage for –

It’s a cooking blow torch. For crème brulee. It’s been sitting in a box that was a gift set in that cabinet for years now. Erwin had completely forgotten about it.

“How did you find that?” Erwin says. “What were you looking for up there?” _How did you even reach?_ he thinks. Did he get a ladder from outside? Stack the stepstool on a kitchen chair again?

“The high cabinets are dusty,” Levi says.

Erwin can feel a headache starting. He’s not sure why he’s surprised that Levi decided to clean all the cabinets while he was outside or otherwise occupied at some point. Erwin looks back at the table, at the plastic and cookie cutters and a metal bowl which are all not his. He glances at Farlan’s backpack. They’d clearly planned this – gathered all the items, waited until Erwin was busy outside. It was quite a coordinated effort – Erwin could almost be impressed.

Erwin picks up the blow torch, which is hot – and sets it over on the kitchen counter. “Wait until everything cools down enough, and then the three of you are cleaning this up. And you are not allowed to use the torch anymore. Or melt plastic.” He looks at Farlan and gestures at the items which are not his own. “I’m assuming these are your mother’s?”

Farlan gives him a sheepish look. Erwin sighs.

The next time Levi manages to injure himself, Erwin is sitting inside on a Thursday afternoon, reading a book on the couch, when he hears the backdoor open, and then Levi’s voice.

“Erwin.”

Erwin is looking up in a moment, a chill going down his back. Levi’s voice is wobbly and soft, and very unlike him. Erwin’s up off the couch in a moment. The first thing he registers is Levi’s expression – he’s incredibly pale, his eyes wide and scrunched. And then Erwin sees the blood.

It’s all over his shirt, and smudged over his fingers where he grips his arm, just below his elbow. It drips down his wrist, makes a couple splatters on the floor.

“Levi, oh my G- what happened?” Erwin says, rushing over, going to kneel next to Levi. Levi’s hands are trembling.

Levi doesn’t say anything. His eyes look almost glazed. Erwin puts his hands on Levi’s arms gently, and then slides them down, gently pushing his hand away from his arm, where he grips it, over the wound.

Levi whines and pulls away, drawing back.

“I just need to look, Levi – what happened?” he says.

“Cut it on – on the fence,” he says.

“On the fence?” Erwin says, because they have a wooden fence – he’s not sure how Levi could have managed to cut his arm open on it.

“At the blue house,” Levi says.

“The – were you climbing it? Why were you climbing their fence?” Erwin says. The blue house is two houses down, and Levi sometimes rides his bike (with a helmet, and only to the end of the street, on the sidewalk when he’s alone) past it, but Erwin has no idea why he would be climbing their fence.

“There was a dog…” Levi says.

Erwin decides that he can question later. “Okay,” he says, “can I take a look, Levi?”

Levi whines again, and then slowly moves his hand away, showing Erwin the cut for just a couple seconds before he puts his hand around it again.

Erwin pales a little. He forces his expression to go neutral. “Okay, Levi, just sit down here for a second, okay?” He steers Levi over to the kitchen table, and once Levi is sitting, Erwin darts to the bathroom. “Stay right there,” he says. He’s back a moment later with a towel. “Let me see,” Erwin says again. “I’m gonna wrap it up.”

“Not – no bandages?” Levi says. He moves his hand away though and allows Erwin to wrap the towel tightly around Levi’s arm. Levi winces.

“Hold that right there,” Erwin says, and Levi does. Erwin takes a deep breath, and then he smooths his hands over Levi’s shoulders. He forces his tone and his expression as calm as he can. Levi stares back at him with wide eyes. “You’re going to be just fine, Levi,” Erwin says. “But this cut is a little too deep for me to just wrap up at home. We’re going to need to go to an urgent care for this one, so we make sure –”

Levi’s face goes impossibly paler, eyes wider, as fear etches into his features. He pulls back, scootching backwards in the chair, tearing away from Erwin’s hands. “No,” he says. He shakes his head, knees drawing up in the chair and holding his arm in close to his chest.

“It’s okay, Levi,” Erwin says, “it’s okay, but I can’t just bandage it up. You’ve really done a number on yourself this time, kiddo, and we’re going to have to go see someone for it.”

Levi shakes his head. “Uh-uh,” he says. Tears well up in his eyes and his lip trembles. “No – no, Erwin, no.”

“I’m really sorry, Levi, I know you don’t want to, but we have to go,” Erwin says. “It’s going to be okay.”

Levi shakes his head some more, curls inwards on the chair some more. “No,” he says, voice cracking.

“Levi, I’m going to go get you some Tylenol, so it doesn’t hurt as much,” Erwin says, “and I’m going to get that medicine – the one that will help you stay calm, that will make things not seem so scary. Remember we talked about it – how you could take it if we have to see a dentist or a doctor, so that things wouldn’t be so hard?”

“I’m not going,” Levi says. “They’re gonna make me get stitches.”

“If you need stitches,” Erwin says, “then you will need a little shot, and then you won’t feel anything afterwards. Remember at the dentist, when they gave you a shot, and then your mouth was numb? It’s like that. I promise if you need stitches, it won’t hurt.”

“It will,” Levi says, and Erwin feels like crying himself, the amount of fear in Levi’s expression. “It’ll hurt and they’ll hold me down.”

“Levi, I promise it’s not going to hurt,” Erwin says, “you’ll need a shot to make it numb, but that’s it, and then it won’t hurt. If it still hurts when they start, you just have to tell them and they’ll give you another shot, and then it won’t anymore.”

“No,” Levi says. “I don’t – no – _no_.”

“Levi, I’m going to go grab the Tylenol and your medicine,” Erwin says. “I think you’ll feel a lot better once you have it. The medicine should make this seem a lot less scary.”

Erwin’s a little afraid Levi’s going to bolt the second Erwin leaves, but the sooner he can get Levi to take the medication the better. He’s really hoping that it will work well enough to get them through this without it becoming a horrendously traumatic affair.

“I’ll just be one second,” Erwin says. “I’ll be right back, Levi. It’s okay.”

Erwin tries not to run until he’s out of Levi’s line of sight. He gets the two medicines and is very relieved when he comes out to see Levi still sitting on the chair, curled up on it, gripping the towel around his arm. Erwin gets him a glass of water.

Levi takes the pills. He’s started shaking worse, and Erwin darts back into Levi’s room to grab the fuzzy throw blanket on his bed. He drapes it over Levi’s shoulders after. “Here,” he says. He gives Levi some juice, which Levi takes a couple sips from. Erwin doesn’t say much else, except to tell him that he’s alright, and to take deep breaths, and that it’s okay. He rubs Levi’s knee, and Levi seems to calm down a bit, enough that the tears in his eyes stop welling over and he stops shaking so badly. Erwin doesn’t think it’s been long enough for the pill to really kick in, but he’s looking a bit better.

“Lets go get in the car now, okay?” Erwin says. Levi shakes his head. “I know this is scary, but we really do have to go,” he says, “your arm won’t heal right if we don’t go. You could wind up much more hurt that way. It’s going to be okay though, and I’ll be there the whole time.”

Erwin considers trying to call Farlan and his mother, to see if he can go with them, but Erwin’s not even sure he would be allowed to come in with them, or if he can really take a child who is not his own there.

He gets Levi in the car. Levi brings the blanket with him, and Erwin starts driving to the nearest Urgent Care.

“Do you want to talk about how you’re feeling?” Erwin says. “We can talk about what you find scary. Or I can put on some music?”

“Music,” Levi says.

So Erwin puts on what he hopes is some calming music that will help distract him. Levi seems to calm down a bit more, though Erwin’s not sure how much of that is the pill. They get there and Erwin gets out of the car. Levi does not.

Erwin opens up Levi’s door. Levi is looking down, clutching the blanket and the towel over his arm. His breathing’s gone faster again.

Erwin puts a hand on his knee. “It’s okay,” he says. “It’s going to be okay.” Levi shakes his head. “Do you think you can unbuckle, Levi?”

“I don’t wanna go,” Levi says. His voice cracks, shaky. “I wanna go home.”

“I know, Levi, I’m sorry,” Erwin says. “The sooner we go in, the sooner it’ll be over.” Erwin unbuckles Levi’s seatbelt for him, and then Levi doesn’t move, keeps looking downwards, and Erwin holds out his arms. “Come here, Levi,” he says.

He’s relieved and a little surprised when Levi stretches out his arms in return, and Erwin picks him up out of the car, to carry him. Levi’s small for his age, but he’s still an eleven-year-old. Still, it’s not too much of a strain that Erwin can’t carry him, at least not just to the urgent care. Levi wraps his arms around Erwin’s neck, holding the towel to his forearm still, behind Erwin’s head, and tucks his head in between Erwin’s shoulder and neck. Erwin can hear his fast breathing and sniffling.

“It’s okay,” Erwin says again. “It’s alright.”

He walks through the front door and to the front desk. The woman sitting there looks up and gives him a soft smile, eyes going from Erwin to Levi.

“Levi, I need to put you down for a moment,” he says. Levi doesn’t move, and Erwin crouches down, and then has to gently pry Levi away before he stands on his own again. He stands very close to Erwin, and when Erwin glances down he sees Levi staring up at the woman at the front desk with a mix of fear and distrust, a dash of anger. Erwin rubs his back for a brief moment before pulling out his wallet, getting his ID and insurance card.

They sit in the waiting room then, where they have to wait quite a while. Erwin tries to distract Levi, tries getting Levi to play games on his phone, or to read from it, to watch a TV show. None of it really seems to work. Levi’s eyes dart around nervously the entire time, though he’s quiet. The bleeding has stopped a while ago, but it must still hurt, Erwin thinks.

Finally they are called in. Levi turns to Erwin with a scared, desperate look on his face when they are, but Erwin manages to coax Levi forward, with a hand against his back. They take one step into the door beyond the waiting room and Levi freezes, not budging. The nurse in front of them pauses.

“Levi, it’s alright, come on,” Erwin says. Levi doesn’t move. Erwin crouches down, moves in front of him. Levi’s eyes are wide, terrified. His body looks completely tense, like he’s just frozen. “It’s okay,” Erwin says. “No one is going to hurt you. Everything is okay.” When Levi still doesn’t move, makes almost no reaction at all to Erwin’s words, Erwin has to fight a frown, tries to keep his expression calm and neutral. “I’ll pick you up again, okay?”

Levi doesn’t fight him when Erwin picks him up, just once again wraps his arms around Erwin’s neck and tucks his head in, hiding his face.

They reach the room. When Erwin bends to put Levi down on the examination chair, Levi makes a harsh noise and tightens his arms and legs around Erwin.

“Levi,” Erwin says, “I have to put you down now.” When Levi doesn’t untighten his grip even a little, Erwin crouches instead, letting Levi down on the ground. Levi acquiesces to that, and then immediately moves behind Erwin and to the side of the chair, putting both Erwin and it between Levi and the nurse. “It’s okay,” Erwin says, before reiterating to the nurse his usual line about how Levi’s had some bad experiences with doctors, and he’s very nervous.

He won’t sit in the exam chair, but Erwin manages to coax him into the regular chair in the corner instead, so that the nurse can take his vitals. Levi alternatively glares at the nurse and shoots scared, desperate glances at Erwin.

Erwin’s not surprised when Levi’s fear gives way to a biting anger, uncooperative and scathingly rude. It’s directed really at the nurse though, not at Erwin, which honestly Erwin is going to take as progress, though it’s certainly not ideal. Levi snaps at them, swears, and continues giving death glares, but Erwin knows that it’s just because he’s scared, and he’s grateful that the nurse seems to understand this as well and doesn’t appear affected. They manage to get it done, though it takes three times as long as it should.

Once she’s finished and leaves, saying the doctor will be in shortly, the anger is gone in a moment and Levi’s face crumbles. He fiddles with his hands and swings his feet before drawing his knees to his chest and planting them on the seat instead. Erwin crouches next to him, despite the strain on his knees, to keep a hand on Levi’s knee.

“Take some deep breaths,” Erwin says. “Everything’s going to be fine, Levi. Soon we’ll be able to leave and go home. Do you want to do anything special after?” Erwin says.

Levi doesn’t say anything. His eyes keep flicking around the room, always coming back to the door. He fiddles with the towel still wrapped around his arm. The nurse had looked at it briefly and put some gel on his arm, but let him keep it after that. He still has the blanket around his shoulders.

“We could get ice cream after,” Erwin says. “Or we could stop at McDonalds if you want to. It’s already past dinnertime – we could get takeout somewhere too. Do you have any ideas what you want?”

Levi doesn’t respond. His eyes just keep darting.

“Levi,” Erwin says gently. He moves his hand from Levi’s knee to his shoulder, gives a gentle squeeze. “Levi,” he says again. Levi’s eyes move over to him. “Do you have any ideas for what you want to eat tonight?” Erwin says.

“No,” Levi says, and then looks back at the door.

Erwin resists the urge to sigh. He tries again. “Do you want to watch a movie tonight? We can rent one and I’ll make popcorn.” Levi does not respond. “Is your arm starting to feel a little numb?” Erwin asks.

The nurse had put some numbing gel onto it before she’d left. Levi shrugs a bit in response. Erwin tries for a little longer to get Levi to talk to him, and after that tries to get his attention to a TV show like he had in the waiting room. Neither really work.

When the doctor comes in, she smiles at Levi and tells him she’s heard he’s nervous, so they’ll go nice and slow. “My name’s doctor Maria,” she says, “it’s very nice to meet you, Levi.” Levi says nothing. “How old are you, Levi?”

Levi again doesn’t respond, just glares. Erwin winces.

“Can you tell me what grade you’re in?” she tries. Erwin is torn between answering for Levi and just telling her to give it up – he knows she’s trying to put him at ease but Erwin really doesn’t think this is going to help. Thankfully, she gives up soon, opting to move on instead. “Do you think you can hop up into the big chair here first?” she says.

Levi’s eyes narrow. “No,” he says.

It’s back to the death glare, except this time Levi’s completely tense, watching her every move, and Erwin can’t decide if the look in his eyes is that of prey or predator – there is something decidedly aggressive even as he is clearly terrified.

“How about this,” she says, undeterred, “why don’t you scootch your chair over a little, and you can just put your arm up on the big chair instead, so you don’t have to move but I can still see.”

Levi doesn’t respond.

“Come on, Levi, let’s move you over,” Erwin says. When Levi makes no move to get up, Erwin decides that he’ll just move him then. “I’m just going to push the chair over,” he says.

The chair scrapes against the floor and Levi looks abruptly up to turn his glare on Erwin instead. Erwin smiles back at him. The doctor repeats her request for Levi to put his arm up on the chair. Levi only tightens his arm in against his chest.

“She’s just going to take a look first, Levi,” Erwin says. “Can you please put your arm up for us?”

Levi shakes his head. The chair is facing forward, the right side flush against the exam chair for Levi to put his right arm up. He’s pressed into the left corner of the chair, against the armrest, knees still up, arms pulled in.

“It’s okay, Levi. If you get overwhelmed after then we can take a break, but do you think you can put your arm up for her to take a look now?”

Levi hesitates. He untightens his arms just a little, and then starts to put his arm over on the table. He looks up at the doctor with another glare. “If you try to hold my arm down, I’ll stab you,” he says.

_Oh Jesus_ , Erwin thinks. He closes his eyes for a moment, resists the urge to either pinch the bridge of his nose or yell. “Levi,” he says. Erwin doesn’t even look at the doctor, just at Levi. “That’s not a very nice thing to say. I know you’re scared, but Dr. Maria is only trying to help you.” And then, because Erwin is _pretty sure_ , Levi doesn’t have a knife, but _pretty sure_ is not positive, “We’ve talked about knives. Did you bring a knife?” Levi glowers. Erwin lets his tone go just a bit harder. “ _Levi?_ ”

“No,” Levi mumbles, but then he looks back up at the doctor. “But I’ll break your nose if you hold me down.”

Erwin wants to smack himself in the face. “Levi,” he says again.

“It’s alright,” the doctor says though, and when Erwin looks up it’s an almost bemused expression on her face. “I wouldn’t like it very much if someone held me down either. I promise not to, as long as you promise not to break my nose.”

Levi glares some more. “Fine,” he says after a pause.

He watches intently as the doctor takes away the towel that was over his arm, looking at the wound. “Okay,” she says, “first I just need to clean it out. I need to use a syringe to do that. It looks a little like a shot, but I promise there’s no needle, only water. It might sting just a little bit.”

She cleans the wound, and Levi watches the whole time. He flinches when she touches his arm, and Erwn rubs his back. He’s leaned forward in the chair now, watching intently as she cleans it. He doesn’t appear to be in much pain, though Erwin’s come to the conclusion already that Levi seems to have a high pain tolerance for a child.

“Okay,” she says. She smiles gently at Levi. “Now we have to do the unfun part. I need to give you a couple of tiny pricks, so I can make sure that nothing hurts while I finish taking care of it. Luckily, your arm is already pretty numb, isn’t it? So you should only feel a tiny pinch, even less than a shot, I promise.”

Levi tenses up, and then pulls his arm back, drawing it in again. His eyes narrow at her suspiciously but Erwin can clearly see the way fear is flooding in behind the anger.

“No,” he says.

“It shouldn’t hurt much at all, Levi,” Erwin says. “Just like at the dentist when they numbed your mouth. It probably won’t even hurt as much as that.”

“No,” Levi says.

“You seem like a very brave boy, Levi,” the doctor says. “And you’ve already been very brave today, so I know that you can do this too.”

Levi sneers. “Is that supposed to trick me?”

The doctor frowns. “I’m not trying to trick you at all, Levi. You have been very brave, I know getting hurt like this can be very scary and you’ve done a very good job. And it really will only be a couple of little pricks, and then your arm will be all numb, so it won’t hurt at all when I finish looking at it.”

“You’re lying,” Levi says. The words don’t shock Erwin as much as the absolute _venom_ in Levi’s voice does.

“I promise I’m not, Levi,” she says. “Just a couple pricks, that’s all.”

“Fuck you,” Levi says, and then he darts from the chair, sprinting for the door.

Erwin throws out his arms, manages to catch Levi enough to pull him into a hug, only for Levi to struggle and start screaming. “Let go! Let go, let go, _let go!_ ”

Erwin lets go. He’d grabbed Levi on instinct, but it’s clear how terrified Levi is of being restrained, and the last thing Erwin wants is to reignite that trauma. He moves backwards though, blocking the door.

He stands in front of the doorknob, arms out, as Levi tries to push him aside, scratching at his shirt. When that doesn’t work, he darts across the room instead, behind the exam chair. His hands are out, his eyes darting. He grabs at the other chair and pulls it towards himself, to use as some kind of shield or block.

_At least he doesn’t have a knife_ , a part of Erwin’s mind thinks. Erwin’s pretty damn sure he would have pulled it now if he had one.

“It’s okay,” Erwin says, he keeps his hands out. “It’s okay, Levi, we can take a break. Take some deep breaths, okay?”

Levi glances between the two of them, eyes wide with fear.

“We’re taking a break,” Erwin says. “You don’t need to hide, Levi. We aren’t going to touch you. We’re taking a break now so you can calm down.”

Levi continues looking between the two of them, hands tight around the top of the chair he’s gripping onto. When neither of them move, Levi slowly relaxes. He’s still breathing very fast.

“Can you take some deep breaths, Levi?” Erwin says. “And then we can talk about what made you so scared.” Levi says nothing, but after a few moments he makes an effort at some deeper breaths. “That’s great, Levi,” Erwin says. “When you’re ready, can you tell us what made you so scared?”

Levi looks at the doctor and his eyes narrow a little. “She’s lying,” he says. “You said… you said that if I needed the shots it meant stitches.”

Erwin was not expecting that. He frowns. “Why does that mean she’s lying?” Erwin says.

Levi shoots him a look like Erwin’s playing dumb, and Levi is very not amused. “Because it means she’s gonna try to put in stitches,” he says.

The doctor glances at Erwin, but he’s starting to understand where this is going. “She didn’t say you needed stitches,” Erwin says, “but can you tell me what she said that you think was a lie?”

Levi looks at him funny again, though there’s a bit of uncertainty coming through. “She said it wouldn’t hurt, after the shots, but it will, because she wants to give me stitches.”

“Levi, remember I told you at home, that if you needed stitches it wouldn’t hurt, because they would numb it,” Erwin says. “I know stitches are still very scary for you, but I promise, Levi, they aren’t going to hu-”

“Yes they will,” Levi says, his face tightening.

“I promise they won’t,” Erwin says. “You’ll be completely numb. You won’t be able to feel any pain, I promise.”

“You’re lying,” Levi says. “You’re just lying so I’ll do it.” He starts trembling, tensing up more. “You’re just like them!”

Erwin swears his breath catches, but he lets out a slow exhale. “Levi, I swear to you I’m not lying. It’s not going to hurt. You’ll feel a little pulling – it will probably feel weird, but it won’t hurt. No one is going to hold you down. If you need to stop, then we will. If you still find it too scary, then we can take breaks.”

Levi looks at him distrustfully. He glances at the doctor, and then back.

“How about, we let the doctor give you those little shots, to numb your arm, and then we take a break, so you can see for yourself that it’s completely numb before we do anything else,” Erwin says.

Levi shakes his head. His eyes start going watery.

“We’ll just do that, and nothing else yet,” Erwin says. “And then you can see for yourself that it’s all numb, that it can’t hurt.”

Levi keeps looking between them for a few more moments, but the fight seems to drain out of him. He finally looks at Erwin with something pleading in his expression. “Can’t we go home?” he says. “You can put bandages on, and we can go home?”

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Erwin says. He gives a gentle smile that he hopes doesn’t look as sad as he feels. “I wish we could, but we really have to take care of this here.”

Levi’s face crumples. He wipes at his eyes, and then very slowly pushes the chair a bit in front of him. Erwin gets up, walking carefully, but Levi doesn’t move away from him. He takes the chair for Levi and moves it back where it was, up against the exam chair. Levi fiddles with his hands, moving only a couple steps forward.

Erwin crouches down and opens his arms. “Come here, Levi,” he says.

Levi walks into the hug and tilts his head down, hiding his face again. Erwin rubs his back. “It’s okay,” he says. “You’re okay. No one is going to hurt you, I promise. Everything’s okay.”

Levi moves back after a few moments, and then looks at the chair but doesn’t move. It takes a bit more for Erwin to coax him into it, to get him to put his arm up again.

“I promise I’ll tell you before the pinch, but why don’t you look over at your dad now while I get ready,” she says.

“No,” Levi says, watching her carefully where she stands at the counter.

Erwin’s not going to try to convince him not to look at the needle – he doesn’t think Levi is really afraid of shots anyway, though maybe it’s just that he seems afraid of other things more.

Erwin takes Levi’s hand anyway, though Levi doesn’t look over. She sets the tray down, and approaches with the needle. Levi’s eyes flick between it and the tray, and then stay glued to the needle. When she goes to hold his arm, Levi tenses up.

The actual shots aren’t a big affair. Levi sucks in a couple of sharp breaths and watches the whole time, but otherwise makes no sign of pain. It doesn’t seem to scare him any worse than cleaning the wound did, though he’d been anxious for that too.

“Okay, now we’ll just wait a minute until the medicine starts working and it gets numb,” she says.

Levi stares intently down at his arm for the next couple minutes. He flexes his fingers and bends his elbow, and after a minute starts poking at it with a finger.

“Don’t touch the wound,” Erwin says, “she just cleaned it all out for you.”

“How am I supposed to know if it’s numb?” Levi says.

“Well, you can feel the skin around it, can’t you?” Erwin says.

“I don’t know for sure it’s working there too,” Levi says.

After a minute the doctor turns back to them. “Okay, Levi,” she says, “it should be all numb now.”

Levi frowns and then pokes at his arm again.

“Can you put your arm back up, Levi,” Erwin says.

Levi glances up at him, but he doesn’t say anything. He clenches and unclenches his fist, and then pokes at his skin some more.

“If anything starts hurting, she’ll stop and give you another little shot, okay?” Erwin says. “And if you get overwhelmed we can stop and take a break.”

Levi glances up at him again, and then slowly looks over, hesitates, and then reaches up to put his arm against the exam chair again. The doctor comes back with a tray of tools.

“Why don’t you look over here, Levi?” Erwin says.

Levi makes no response, eyes on the doctor and the tools she brings over. She sits down and he makes a tiny flinch back. Erwin watches her take out the thread and pliers, the hooked needle, and then Levi goes pale.

He shrinks back in the chair and pulls his arm back in tight towards his chest again. “No,” he says, shaking his head, voice suddenly holding terror. “ _No_.”

“Levi, look over here, look at me,” Erwin says, but Levi doesn’t, eyes darting from the doctor to the tray. “I know the tools look scary,” Erwin says, “but remember your arm is numb. It’s not going to hurt.” Levi keeps staring at the tools. “Levi, look over here.”

“No,” Levi says. “I don’t want it. No.”

“Levi, it won’t hurt, you’ll barely feel anything from it. Why don’t you just look over here, okay? The tools can look scary, but I promise this will be okay.”

“No, you’re not stabbing me with that,” Levi says. “It’s a fish hook.”

Erwin starts. He looks over at the curved needle, and then his stomach turns. He knows Farlan said they stitched him with fishing line, but they hadn’t really used a _fish hook_ , had they? Maybe Levi just thought they had. Erwin sure hopes he’d only thought they had.

“Levi, that’s not a fish hook,” Erwin says. “It’s a curved needle made specifically for putting in stitches.”

Levi shakes his head. “It looks like one.”

“Fish hooks have little barbs at the end of them,” Erwin says, “see how this one is smooth? It’s very small too.”

“I don’t wanna be stabbed by it.”

“You won’t feel any pain,” Erwin says.

“I still don’ wanna be stabbed,” Levi says, voice going watery as he looks back at Erwin.

“No one is going to stab you,” Erwin says. “It’s just threading a needle. I know it still seems scary, but it won’t hurt. You can just look over here at me, or we can watch a TV show, and you’ll barely feel it.”

Levi shakes his head. It takes a bit more coaxing. Levi doesn’t want the needle in him, doesn’t want the thread in him, wants to go home. Erwin reassures him that it won’t hurt, that he doesn’t have to watch, that the doctor will wrap it up for him afterwards. He finally winds up crouched next to Levi’s chair, one arm around Levi and the other holding his free hand, as Levi screws his eyes shut and hides his face against Erwin’s shoulder. Levi hyperventilates, squeezing hard on his hand.

“Slower breaths,” Erwin says. “It’s okay.”

The doctor starts putting in the sutures. Levi tenses and then whines, squeezing down harder on Erwin’s hand.

“You’re doing a great job,” the doctor says.

“I can feel it pulling,” Levi says.

“But it doesn’t hurt, it’s just a little uncomfortable,” Erwin says. “It won’t take long.”

Levi gets through the rest of it. He squeezes his eyes shut and tenses and fidgets, but he keeps his arm still. When the doctor’s finished, the wound is quickly wrapped up and they’re able to leave. Erwin helps Levi back into the car, smoothing the blanket over his lap again. Levi looks exhausted and small in the back seat.

“I know that was very scary and difficult for you,” Erwin says gently, “but you did a great job, Levi, and I’m really proud of you.”

Levi glances up at him, but his expression doesn’t change. His hands curl on the blanket.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Erwin says.

Levi shakes his head. He’s gone quiet since the doctor had finished stitching him up.

“We could stop and get ice cream,” Erwin says. He’s sure he can find someplace that’s still open.

“I wanna go home,” Levi says.

“Okay,” Erwin says. “Why don’t we stop at a drive-through instead.”

Erwin plays music on the way home since it doesn’t appear Levi wants to talk. He stops at a McDonalds. Levi only shrugs when Erwin asks him what he wants, so Erwin tries to remember what Levi ordered when they’d gone before. He gets him chicken nuggets and fries and a milkshake.

By the time they get back to the house, Levi’s eaten some fries and drank half the milkshake, and Erwin’s going to take that as a good sign considering the last time they went to the doctor’s, Levi didn’t eat anything the rest of the night.

Levi curls up on the couch when they get back, blanket wrapped around himself. Erwin sets the food on the coffee table in front of him, but doesn’t push for him to eat more. Erwin makes him some tea, which Levi takes from him.

“How are you feeling?” Erwin says once he sits down.

Levi shrugs.

“You really did a great job,” Erwin says. “And the stitches will dissolve on their own, so we don’t have to go back as long as it keeps healing fine.”

Levi looks up at him. “I don’t have to take them out?”

“No,” Erwin says. “These ones dissolve on their own.”

“Oh,” Levi says.

“Now,” Erwin says, “what were you doing climbing the neighbor’s fence?”

Levi frowns. “They leave the dog out.”

“Yes,” Erwin says. He’s seen the dog. The dog which Erwin knows has managed to dig under the fence on multiple occasions, so is now tied to a lead when out in the yard.

“Well they weren’t watching it,” Levi says.

“He’s tied up though,” Erwin says. “He should be perfectly safe there.”

“He’s a stupid dog,” Levi says. “He wrapped his leash around a pole and he couldn’t reach the water.”

Erwin looks back at Levi, who’s still frowning at him. “You climbed the fence to unwrap the dog so he could reach his water bowl?”

“Yeah.”

Erwin smiles slowly. “You’re a good kid, Levi,” he says. Levi looks almost perturbed by this, and Erwin only smiles wider. “But please, no more climbing metal fences.”

Levi rubs the bandage on his arm. “I was trying to go in through the gate. The side is broken and my foot slipped.”

Erwin sighs. “No more climbing gates then.” His expression softens. “Do you want to talk about tonight?” he says. “We can talk about what happened at the clinic, or about what happened when you needed stitches before, if you want to.”

Levi looks away. He takes another sip of his tea, and then looks down at the cup. “They told me it wouldn’t hurt either,” he says. “But they lied. They didn’t have shots. Kenny’s friend did it.”

“I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Levi,” Erwin says. “They shouldn’t have done that.”

Levi fiddles with his cup, takes another sip. “I’m sorry I told the doctor that I’d stab her.”

Erwin can’t help the laugh that comes up his throat. Levi glances at him. “That’s okay, Levi,” Erwin says, “I know you were scared that she would hurt you. But I promise I’d never let anyone hurt you like that.”

Levi’s expression tightens. “You did at the hospital,” he says.

Erwin’s eyes widen. “The hospital?”

“Mike said it wouldn’t hurt, but it did,” Levi says. “They wouldn’t stop touching me.”

“I’m sorry you got so scared there,” Erwin says. “Mike should have warned you that it might hurt a little when they washed your leg. He didn’t want to scare you, and I think he exaggerated a little bit because of it. It didn’t hurt too much though, did it?”

“I hated it,” Levi says. Erwin sees him swallow. “I wanted them to stop.”

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says. “We didn’t know how scared it would make you. I’ll try to be better, okay?” Levi nods without looking at him. “And you have the medicine now,” Erwin says, “do you think it helped?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Levi says. Erwin wonders if he can take a bit higher dose. He’d still obviously been very scared.

Levi falls asleep on the couch that night, watching a movie. Erwin’s a little surprised. Levi struggles to sleep on a good day, and this was not a good day. He wonders if the clinic visit really exhausted him or if the medication he took is making him sleepy. He knows it can be a side effect.

Erwin leaves him with a blanket on the couch. He knows if he tries to move Levi that he’ll wake up, and he doesn’t know if Levi will be able to fall back asleep. Erwin doesn’t sleep well that night. He dozes on the couch for a while, then eventually moves to his own bed sometime after midnight. Around three in the morning he wakes up and checks on Levi, but he’s still sleeping on the couch.

By the time it’s morning though, Erwin comes out to see the blanket folded on the couch and no Levi. He very carefully peeks into Levi’s bedroom, and he’s asleep in his bed. Erwin doesn’t wake him up. He calls them both in sick to school.

Levi comes out of his room looking sleepy and confused about an hour later, dressed in his pajamas. “It’s past eight,” he says.

“Yes,” Erwin says. He opens a couple of cabinets looking for pancake mix. He swears he bought pancake mix. “I thought we’d skip school today. I’m going to make pancakes.”

Levi frowns at him. “I wanna see Farlan and Is,” he says.

Maybe skipping school was not the best plan after all, Erwin thinks. “I can pick them up after school gets out,” Erwin says.

“Okay,” Levi says.

Levi seems a little withdrawn and tired the rest of the day, but it’s not the worrying silence that Erwin had seen him exhibit after the first time they went to the doctor’s. He’s clearly not feeling _good_ but Erwin thinks it’ll be okay.

Erwin drives to pick up Farlan and Isabel once school gets out, like he promised. They stand together at the end of Farlan’s driveway with dual concerned, eager expressions. Normally they’re laughing and talking animatedly when Erwin picks them up like this, but today they follow the car with their eyes, peering into it. Farlan has a resolute frown on his face, brow creased. Isabel jumps from foot to foot, and practically runs into the car before Erwin’s even parked it all the way, pulling at the door handle.

Levi’s been texting them during the day, Erwin knows. Erwin unlocks the doors and Isabel clambers in and right on top of Levi. He lets out a grunt.

“Is,” he says.

“Are you okay? Can I see it? Does it hurt?” she says.

“A litt – hey, don’t touch it!” Levi says.

Farlan climbs into the car after Isabel, shutting the door behind him and then sliding over so he too is right next to Levi. Erwin watches in the rearview mirror as he puts a hand on Levi’s knee and then peers around Isabel, ducking his head until Levi meets his eyes. They look at each other for a moment. Erwin can’t see Farlan’s face but he sees Levi’s expression tighten a bit.

Farlan wraps his arms around Levi, half trapping Isabel in the process. She is quick to get with the program and wraps her arms tightly around him too.

“You’re squishing me,” Levi says with a huff.

Erwin waits until they are back in their respective seats and buckled up before driving them back to the house. Once there, Farlan follows closely behind Levi into the house while Isabel flits around them. They go to Levi’s room.

They’re not as rambunctious as usual, another sign that Levi’s not feeling so good yet. They talk quietly in Levi’s room for a while and then move on to a board game in the living room that Levi seems very disinterested in. Eventually they settle in for a movie. The three of them sit together on the couch with a blanket thrown over them, Isabel slumped against Levi’s right side and Farlan on his left.

It is, frankly, adorable, and Erwin is once again grateful that Levi has such good friends.

They go to school the next day, and Erwin is actually a bit surprised when Levi is much more himself that morning. He goes to school and things seem fine. He wears a T-shirt and his classmates quickly start asking about the bandages wrapped around his arm.

Erwin is preparing some worksheets and getting a PowerPoint presentation started as kids file in for one of his morning history classes, the class that Levi happens to be in – the class that Levi, Farlan, Eld, Petra, Gunther, and Oluo are in (Erwin’s not quite sure how Levi’s entire friend group, minus Isabel who is a year younger, managed to get into the same history class).

They sit in the back corner together. Erwin lets his students pick their own seats as long as it doesn’t cause any issues (in which case he will move them), and the group has sat in that back corner the entire year. But they’re all hanging around there while Erwin’s setting things up, which is why he doesn’t notice at first.

“Ew, Levi, put it away.”

“That’s nothing. When I got bit by Jack’s dog, they gave me _staples_.”

“Oh shut up, Oluo.”

“Wait, let me count – how many did you get?”

Erwin looks up to see the group huddled closely together, Eld bent over Levi’s outstretched arm and Petra looking disgustedly at Oluo (she held that expression quite a lot when talking to Oluo). Gunther stands back a bit, looking somewhat horrified. Erwin’s eyes go down, and he sees the bandages which are meant to be wrapped around Levi’s arm, sitting on his desk.

“How’d you get it, Levi?” Petra says.

“He stole my fruit snacks at lunch the other day, so I cut him with my switchblade after school,” Farlan declares.

Levi shoots Farlan a dirty look.

“You did not,” Petra says, but her eyes narrow and then she glances between the two of them. “You did not… right?”

Farlan laughs and Levi punches his shoulder. “I cut it on a fence,” Levi says. “It bled a fuck ton.” Erwin sees Gunther go a little paler. Levi leans forward, stretching his arm out more for the group circled around him to see. Oluo and Petra both lean backwards while Eld keeps looking like he’s fascinated. 

“Is it real thread, like a sewing machine?” Petra says.

Levi leans his head inward and down a little, to glance around the circle with a very serious expression. “Yeah, it’s thread. But they don’t use like a sewing needle, or even a needle like in a shot. They use a fish hook because it’s curved, so they can hook the needle under the skin to the other side –and they just leave it like that while they get the thread, so you’ve got this hook stuck through your skin, just sticking out on both sides, and I swear it looks just like when you catch a fish good with the hook clean through its mouth, and you can feel the hook tugging at your skin, pulling it up, like you’re gonna be pulled up just like a fish is on a li–”

“Oh my God, shut up,” Petra says, covering her ears as Oluo takes a step back and Gunther goes even paler.

Levi and Farlan both break out laughing. Eld grins. “Screw you, Levi,” he says.

“Levi, you jerk!” Petra says, hands going to fists at her side.

Oluo is unusually silent. Gunther takes a hesitant step back towards the group. “But there wasn’t really any fish hooks, right?” he says.

“No,” Levi says, “but there was a scary ass looking curved needle.”

As the rest of the class filters in, Erwin decides it is time to intervene. “Levi,” he says, and the whole group looks up and over at him, Levi’s face a mask of careful blank innocence as always. “Those bandages are meant to stay on,” he says.

He gets a weak glare at that, but Levi settles back into his seat and starts rewrapping them.

Erwin has to hide a smile as he turns back towards the board at the front of the room. He can’t bring himself to be too upset with Levi for terrorizing his classmates. He feels an inordinate amount of relief, seeing Levi laughing and teasing his friends about the stitches.

He turns back around to see all of them in their seats now, Petra still glaring at Levi while Farlan and Eld joke together about something. Gunther is smiling again and Oluo has a hand splayed dramatically with some declaration, all of them talking over each other. Levi sits casually sideways in his chair, looking at his friends with just the hint of a smirk on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I bother putting chapter caps on my fics - clearly I don't know when to quit. 
> 
> This story was only supposed to be two chapters but here we are - I thought this chapter would be it but there's a bit more I want to do... and then I started thinking about how fun it would be to write a chapter of angsty teen Levi or infuriating 12-13 year old Levi or maybe 18-19 year old "I'm way too cool for this, Erwin" college Levi...
> 
> We'll see how it goes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you leave a comment and tell me your thoughts it would make my day! I'd love to know what you think.


End file.
